I used to think that everything had to be either black or white. If something didn’t fit in one of those two areas I would make it fit, bending it, manipulating it, twisting it to fit into the narrative I wanted to tell so it could be put neatly into the box I wanted it to. In doing so I was forcing things to only ever be one of two things in my mind, right or wrong. Life isn’t always that simple, many times it’s many things in between, and as much as I myself fought back to not to be put in a box, or be labelled as any one thing, I was doing just that with the people, places and things in my life. Much of that had to do with my need to control, to force things to be a certain way because it made me feel safe, smart, or better than, but I wasn’t living in truth, and I was missing out on appreciating all of the amazing things that live in the grey area, including myself.
When I started on this path, the grey area made me very uncomfortable, it felt unsafe, unmanaged, not defined enough, but as I started to open my mind, to see that things didn’t always fit in one of two places, the grey area started to become exciting, a little like the Wild West, where anything could happen. First I had to get comfortable with that, even though it seemed exciting, it felt scary, a little dangerous, and unpredictable, it was about learning to be comfortable in the uncomfortableness, which at first made me want to crawl out of my own skin, but I was encouraged to sit there and was told if I did, I could find peace there, and eventually grace. I did. And when I did it opened up a whole new world for me. A lot of life happens in the grey areas, and no matter how much I would force it into one of two places, a lot of things didn’t belong there. Most things don’t really belong there. Most things fall into the middle, and deserve to be left there. And when we leave them where they are supposed to be, even honor them for being there, we find grace. We stop fighting, manipulating, twisting them into something they are not, and honor them for being exactly what they are. This may sound like an abstract concept, but when we think about ourselves, who we are, what we stand for, who and what we love, typically, we don’t just fit into one neat box either, there is some grey, and maybe a lot of grey in the areas that matter, so as much as we wouldn’t want to be forced into a box that we didn’t fit in, neither should other people, places, and things. It’s also acknowledging our own growth. As we walk on this path, learn, and grow, what we believe, experience, and the way we live our lives, changes, our parameters get bigger, wider, and more vast, we accept things as they are, no matter how messy or perhaps how undefined they are, and let them be, without trying to change them, we let them live just as they are, and when we do, we find our grace.
Life does it’s dance, and a lot of the time it’s dancing to a totally different tune than the one in our heads, but instead of trying to force our dance to it’s music, just enjoy the music, and trust it’s the music we’re supposed to be hearing, it gives us an opportunity to learn a new dance, or to adjust the one we already know. Try new things, accept differences in others, and trust that you are being introduced to these things to help you on your journey, to guide you on your path, and to lead you to where you are supposed to be going. Find the grace in the grey, and let that open your heart to a brave new world.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you try to put everything in your life neatly in boxes or categories? Does the grey area scare you? If yes, why? Why do you think you need to have everything categorized neatly into one or two boxes? Would you like to be categorized into only one or two boxes? Do you think you fit into some grey areas in your life? If so, in what way? Can you see that others’ may also fit into grey areas? Can you accept that? When you can SLAYER, you are on your way to finding grace, and you are on your way to a new freedom, opening your eyes to the infinite possibilities that the world has to offer. Let go of old ideas and SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you