The photo that accompanies this post is one I never thought I’d share.
I’ve had it since 2003, and aside from the person who took it, I showed it to only one other person for years. Before I stepped onto this journey, there was no way I would have let anyone see it. In truth, it’s taken me more than a decade of healing to feel ready to share it at all.

That photo isn’t a picture of someone who had it together.
It isn’t the version of me I worked so hard to present to the world.
It’s a picture of a woman in pain.
In fear.
Holding on by a thread.
I look at her now and I recognize her immediately. She’s still inside me. But today, I feel compassion for her instead of shame. I understand what she was carrying. I understand why she was afraid. And I appreciate her—because she didn’t stay there.
She kept going.
And that’s what made her flawsome.
What Flawsome Really Means to Me
Flawsome isn’t pretending we don’t have flaws.
It’s not polishing them up or hiding them better.
Flawsome is learning to celebrate them.
It’s letting go of the impossible standard of perfection and choosing something real instead. Because perfection doesn’t exist—and chasing it only keeps us stuck in self-judgment.
Flawsome is turning the parts of yourself you once hated into sources of strength. It’s living authentically, loving yourself fully, and recognizing that who you are—right now—is already worthy.
Perfection isn’t attainable.
But flawsomeness is.
How I Learned to Become Flawsome
This didn’t happen overnight.
It came from learning who I actually am, not who I thought I needed to be. From loving myself unconditionally—even the parts I wanted to reject. From letting my freak flag fly instead of trying to tuck it away.
And yes, it came from forgiveness. Again.
Forgiving myself for the choices I made when I didn’t know better.
Forgiving myself for the years I spent believing I was unlovable.
Forgiving myself for thinking my flaws made me less-than.
Letting go of that judgment freed me in ways I never expected.
Loving Yourself Is the Work
I had to learn to look at myself with love—the same love I so easily offered to others.
To stop living in the past, replaying mistakes that couldn’t be undone.
To stop living in the future, chasing a version of myself I thought I had to become.
The only place healing actually happens is now.
I learned to focus on what I’m good at. To celebrate my strengths instead of obsessing over what I thought was broken. To build on my talents and share them with others.
One of the most powerful parts of being flawsome is letting other people see it. When we own who we are, we give others permission to do the same.
The Woman in That Photo Didn’t Stay There
There’s nothing flawsome about the woman in that photo—except this:
She didn’t give up.
With every bit of strength she had, she fought for herself. She started a journey toward healing and self-love. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t fast. And yes, she put herself through hell for years after that picture was taken.
But she got there.
And now, that woman is me—writing these words.
That’s flawsome.
If You’re Struggling Right Now
If you’re feeling lost, empty, beaten down, or hopeless—please hear this:
Today can be the first day of the rest of your life.
You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to decide that you’re worth fighting for. The journey won’t be easy, but I promise you—it’s worth every step.
And you don’t walk it alone.
You have all of us SLAYERS walking beside you.
So go out there today and be flawsome.
SLAY Reflection
Let’s reflect, SLAYER:
S: What parts of yourself have you labeled as flaws?
L: How have those “flaws” actually shaped your strength or resilience?
A: What would change if you looked at yourself with compassion instead of judgment?
Y: How can you begin turning what you’ve judged into something flawsome?
Make a commitment today to stop judging yourself. When something comes up that you usually criticize, pause. Smile. Ask yourself how you can respond with love instead.
You’re learning.
Be kind to yourself on the way to SLAYDOM.
And never forget—you are flawsome.
Discover more from State Of Slay™
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
You continue to help save me from myself.
I always had the tools but never the courage to use them. ‘Because of you’ sounds trite, but …
And for whatever great Goodness has allowed me to know you, and even more improbable be friends, I pray It continues to send you strength and peace.
LikeLiked by 2 people
John, we all come into each other’s lives for a reason, so happy we can walk this path together.
We learn from each other, teach each other, and share our experiences, strength & hopes with each other, we get back what we put in.
Love you and thank you for sharing your journey with me and the other SLAYERS here.
SLAY on!
LikeLike
This journey of learning to love myself has and is a hard long one. But I can now look at my reflection & know I’m on my new path. On that new path is love , acceptance and beautiful imperfections
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are on a new path and it’s important to love yourself through that process, you are on a path of love and the more you practice self love the more you will not see our flaws as a determent, you will start to see them differently and learn how to learn them into strengths, and find your flawsomeness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This made me think of a saying, “Put down the bat & pick up a feather..” In my program I’ve learned to cut myself and others some slack. Us humans are human and perfectly imperfect. In time and a lot of work, I’ve learned to allow myself to be loveable and to love myself. Just need to be gentle with ourselves and others.💜
LikeLiked by 1 person
Donna I love that saying, I’ve never heard of it.
Sounds like you’ve found a lot of use for that feather. Great to hear you’ve allowed yourself to be human and to embrace your humanness. Something I had to learn as well.
We are all here to learn, and we have to learn to love ourselves through our learning process.
Thank you for your comment, I hope you’ll continue to share with us.
SLAY on!
LikeLike