self-sabotage

Take Yourself Off The Wheel

Nothing changes if nothing changes.
For years, I did the same things over and over again, expecting different results.
I thought if I kept applying the same approach—harder, louder, longer—somehow life would finally cooperate.

It didn’t.

Every time I repeated the same behavior, I got the same result.
The only thing that changed was how frustrated and exhausted I became.
And when I hit that familiar wall of fear, frustration, and anxiety, the noise in my head got louder—until it drowned out everything else.
I felt stuck. Paralyzed. Powerless.

But the truth?
I had the power all along.
It started with one bold choice: stepping off the wheel I’d been running on for years.

Change Is Uncomfortable—And That’s Okay

Change can feel scary.
Unfamiliar.
Uncomfortable.

Sometimes that discomfort makes us hesitate.
Other times, it’s self-sabotage in disguise—we tell ourselves it’s safer to stay where we are.
That we’re not capable of change.
That we don’t deserve it.
That nothing will really be different anyway.

But that’s a lie.
There is always a way out—or at least a better way forward.
We just have to be willing to take it.

Discomfort Means You’re Growing

If it feels uncomfortable, that’s probably a sign you’re doing the right thing.
It means you’re stepping into new territory.
It means you’re trying something different.
It means you’re finally breaking the cycle.

Change is rarely easy.
But staying stuck is harder.

What helped me most was shifting how I thought about change—not as something to fear, but as something that could bring growth, healing, and expansion.

We aren’t meant to stay where we are forever.
We’re meant to evolve.
To move forward.
To learn and grow.

And that means we have to be willing to do things differently, even when it feels awkward, messy, or uncertain.

The Power of a Single Step

Stepping off the wheel doesn’t require a perfect plan.
It just requires a step.

Even if the first thing you try doesn’t work, you’ll learn something.
That one step might be what sets everything else in motion.
The journey is the point—not just the outcome.

We are not victims of our circumstances.
We may not control every situation, but we can always control how we show up, how we respond, and what we’re willing to change.

Without that inner work, even if we move into new circumstances, we may find ourselves facing the same old patterns in a new setting.

Real change starts from the inside.

It’s Time to Get Off the Wheel

Change takes effort.
But that effort is an investment in you.
In your dreams.
In the life you want.
In the person you’re becoming.

Be willing.
Be curious.
Be brave enough to say yes to what’s new, even if it feels a little scary at first.

You’ve been running in circles long enough.
It’s time to stop the spin.
Jump off the wheel.
And walk forward—with purpose.

SLAY Reflection: Are You Ready to Do Things Differently?

  1. Do you find yourself resisting change?
    What feels uncomfortable or threatening about it?
  2. Are you happy with where you are in life?
    If not, what steps have you taken—or avoided—to shift it?
  3. What patterns have you repeated that no longer serve you?
    Why do you think you’ve stayed in them?
  4. What is one small change you can make today that would move you forward?
    What would it feel like to say yes to that?
  5. What truth are you avoiding because it would require change?
    And what freedom might be waiting on the other side?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one change you’ve made—or know you need to make—to get off the wheel and create real momentum in your life?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in a cycle they’re ready to break, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Don’t Be Afraid To Be Great

Looking back, there were many times I was afraid to be great. In my heart, I wanted it. In my mind, I believed I did, too. But in the moment—when it counted—something inside me would pull back. I would stop myself, sometimes even sabotage myself, just so I wouldn’t fully step into my potential.

And I always knew. There was a split second where I could’ve chosen differently—but I didn’t. Then I’d beat myself up for it. I’d use it as proof that I wasn’t good enough. That I didn’t deserve good things. That old narrative was strong, and I was the one keeping it alive.

When Self-Doubt Creeps In

So where does that fear come from? Why do we shrink from our own greatness?

For me, it was years of undiagnosed mental illness and deeply rooted self-hate. I was at war with myself—wanting things to change, but getting in the way of any progress. Even when opportunities came my way, I’d question if I deserved them. I’d back down, stay small, and then carry the weight of disappointment.

It wasn’t until I began my recovery that I finally started to shift. I learned to love myself. I stopped backing down from the things I wanted. And slowly, I stopped fearing success. Because success started to feel like something I was allowed to have.

Greatness isn’t arrogance. Greatness is owning your light. It’s showing up fully, knowing your worth, and letting yourself shine.

You Don’t Need Permission

Sometimes, we wait for others to validate our greatness. To give us permission. But your power doesn’t come from someone else’s approval. It comes from you.

If someone is uncomfortable with your greatness, that’s their work to do—not yours. Your job is to honor your gifts, pursue your goals, and keep showing up for yourself. Greatness isn’t just about what you achieve—it’s about who you become as you rise.

Today, I don’t let that little voice in my head stop me the way it used to. And when I do hear it, I know it’s not the truth. I’ve worked too hard to believe in myself—and I’m not giving that up.

You Were Made for More

We all have dreams. We all have something inside us that longs to grow, to thrive, to become. Don’t let fear—or old patterns—steal that from you.

Start where you are. You don’t have to know every step—just take the first one. Say yes. Trust that the path will reveal itself as you go. The more you honor your potential, the more your life will expand.

Be great. And while you’re at it, help others see their greatness, too.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Step Into Your Greatness

  • Do you believe you are great? If not, what’s holding you back from seeing it?
  • Have you ever talked yourself out of something you really wanted? Why?
  • What is one thing you’re great at—and do you celebrate it or downplay it?
  • How does it feel when you celebrate someone else’s success? Can you offer that same energy to yourself?
  • What’s one step you can take this week to move closer to your greatness?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’re ready to stop holding yourself back and fully own your greatness?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who needs a reminder of their worth, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is permission to rise.

I Will Not Kick Myself When I’m Down

There was a time when I didn’t just fall down—I helped push myself further. The moment I was down, I would pile on the blame, the guilt, the shame. I thought that was what I deserved. That somehow the worse I felt, the more I could atone for my failures. But the truth is: kicking ourselves when we’re down doesn’t build us back up. It keeps us buried.

The Trap of Unrealistic Expectations

I held impossible expectations for myself. If I didn’t meet them perfectly (and let’s be honest, they were designed to be unmeetable), I used that as proof that I was a failure. That cycle of aiming too high, falling short, and self-destructing was its own form of punishment. And it kept me stuck in the belief that I wasn’t good enough.

Even when good things did happen, I didn’t trust them. I feared they’d be taken away. I feared I would mess them up. I feared someone would find out I didn’t deserve them. That mindset didn’t protect me—it prevented me from ever feeling joy, ease, or peace.

Ground Zero and the Climb Back Up

When I found recovery, I was at rock bottom. Spiritually bankrupt. Emotionally drained. I couldn’t get any lower. And still, the instinct to blame and shame myself was there. But slowly, step by step, I started doing something different. Instead of kicking myself, I started caring for myself.

I had to rewire my brain to stop looking at every misstep as proof of failure. I had to learn that failure is part of learning. And more importantly, I had to love myself through it. I started asking: What can this moment teach me? That changed everything.

Reframing Failure as Growth

Because failure isn’t failure if it teaches you something.

That shift in perspective allowed me to see mistakes not as dead ends, but as detours with lessons. Sometimes they pointed me toward a better path. Sometimes they showed me where I still had growing to do. And sometimes they helped me realize I was never really off-track—I was just learning in real time.

Yes, there were disappointments. Yes, I still felt frustration. But instead of spiraling into shame, I started practicing self-reflection with compassion. That’s how we grow. That’s how we keep going.

A Better Way Forward

So if you’re in a tough season, be honest with yourself: Are you making it harder by turning on yourself?

You may have goals and dreams that didn’t unfold how you imagined. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human. It means you’re on the journey. And maybe—just maybe—that so-called failure is actually pointing you toward what you were meant to do all along.

Let go of the punishment. Pick up the lesson. Love yourself when it’s hardest to do so. That’s where the real power lives.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Do you tend to beat yourself up when things don’t go your way?
  2. What expectations are you holding yourself to that may be unrealistic?
  3. Can you think of a recent mistake that actually taught you something important?
  4. How does self-compassion feel different from self-criticism?
  5. What’s one way you can support yourself today, even if it feels uncomfortable?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Show yourself grace when you fall
  • Learn from the lesson
  • Acknowledge your humanity
  • You get to choose how you respond

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What helps you break the cycle of beating yourself up? How do you practice self-love on your hardest days?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in the shame spiral, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.