Reality isn’t just one thing.
It’s not all light. It’s not all dark.
It lives in the in-between—where truth, growth, and resilience are found.
Sometimes, especially when the world feels heavy, we lean into one side more than the other.
We might cling to the positive and avoid anything unpleasant.
Or we might become so focused on the negative that we lose sight of anything good at all.
But true clarity comes from being able to hold both sides—
To acknowledge what’s difficult while still seeking what’s beautiful.
When Reality Felt Like a Trap
When I was deep in my illness, the word “reality” felt like a punishment.
I wanted to escape it as much as possible.
So I did—by distraction, by denial, by diving into anything that gave me a quick fix of false peace.
Substances, shopping, friendships, exercise—whatever would pull me away from the darkness I was living in.
But the darkness always found its way back in.
Because I wasn’t looking at life clearly.
I was stuck in a one-lens view of the world—and that view was grim.
Even when something good happened, I didn’t trust it.
I expected it to be taken away.
And in that fear, I would sabotage the very light I craved.
I thought life was cruel.
But in truth, I was stuck in a loop of my own perspective.
The Shift Begins with Perspective
When I made the commitment to seek help, one of the biggest lessons I had to learn was this:
Life is both beautiful and brutal.
It contains joy and pain.
Peace and discomfort.
Light and shadow.
If I wanted to heal, I couldn’t keep turning away from the parts I didn’t want to see.
I had to look at life for what it was—and stop trying to control it through avoidance or fantasy.
One of my mentors compared life to the ocean—always ebbing and flowing.
Sometimes calm, sometimes crashing, but never still.
Even the moments that feel still are part of the movement.
That metaphor saved me.
Because it reminded me that hard times do pass.
And the good times don’t need to be clung to—they’re part of a rhythm.
I didn’t need to hide from reality.
I needed to learn how to ride the waves.
Balance is Where Power Lives
It’s easy to fall into extremes.
To live in denial and pretend everything is fine.
Or to spiral into the darkness and believe everything is falling apart.
But when we live in one extreme, we lose our power.
We stop making intentional choices.
We stop growing.
Reality, in its most honest form, gives us space to do something.
To help others.
To show up for ourselves.
To feel our feelings, without letting them control us.
To face what’s hard and still reach for what’s good.
It’s not about pretending everything is fine.
And it’s not about assuming it never will be.
It’s about finding the balance between the grim and the pleasant—
and choosing to live with eyes open and a heart that stays willing.
SLAY Reflection: How Do You See the World?
- Do you tend to view life through only one lens—either the positive or the negative?
Which one do you default to? - How has that perspective affected your emotional or spiritual well-being?
What have you gained—or lost—by living that way? - What makes it uncomfortable to see both sides of reality?
Where do you feel resistance? - What would it look like to live in the in-between more often?
How could that help you make more grounded decisions? - How can you honor both your challenges and your joy this week?
What small shift could move you toward balance?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ve learned to live in the balance between the difficult and the beautiful—and how has it changed your relationship with reality?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s struggling to stay centered in uncertain times, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
