This week has been heavy.
Not just in the day-to-day busyness, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually.
And as I took a step back, I asked myself a question I’ve learned to come back to again and again:
Is all of this mine to carry?
The answer?
No.
But that hasn’t stopped me from dragging it around—tight-chested, overwhelmed, and bone-tired.
Like many of us, I juggle a lot every day.
And most of the time, I believe I can handle it all.
Until I can’t.
Until I hit a wall.
And when I do, I don’t always meet myself with grace.
Sometimes, I meet myself with frustration and shame.
Even when I know better, I still find myself slipping into old habits—trying to carry it all.
No one is asking me to.
Help is there if I reach for it.
But there I go, dragging the weight of the world across some invisible finish line I made up in my head.
It’s time to pause.
To take a breath—or a few—and ask myself what I’ve picked up along the way that never belonged to me in the first place.
We Learn to Carry What We Don’t Need
Before recovery, I carried everything.
It never occurred to me that I could set anything down.
The emotional weight.
The resentment.
The guilt.
The responsibility for people and problems that were never mine to begin with.
I just kept going—until I couldn’t.
Eventually, I hit a wall.
Hard.
And that wall was the wake-up call I needed.
I couldn’t live that way anymore.
It was slowly destroying me.
So I asked for help.
Not just with what I was carrying—but with how I lived.
Learning to Let Go of What’s Not Yours
Through recovery, I discovered something profound:
A lot of what I was carrying wasn’t mine.
Some of it was inherited—passed down through family, expectations, trauma.
Some of it I volunteered to carry—because I wanted to feel helpful, needed, or in control.
And some of it… I carried on purpose to sabotage myself.
To stay small.
To stay exhausted.
To prove that I couldn’t do more, be more, live more.
That’s the hard truth.
Sometimes, we don’t just carry what’s not ours—we choose it.
But once I got honest with myself, I realized I had a choice.
To let go.
To say no.
To only carry what actually belonged to me.
And that changed everything.
What’s Yours—and What’s Not
There will always be people who would gladly let you carry their weight.
There will be moments when you try to carry someone else’s pain, fear, or responsibility—uninvited.
But that doesn’t mean you have to.
Being helpful doesn’t mean taking on someone else’s journey.
Being strong doesn’t mean carrying more than you should.
Being loving doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself.
We are responsible for ourselves.
For our peace.
For honoring what we need.
That starts with putting down what was never yours to carry in the first place.
SLAY Reflection: What Are You Carrying?
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Do you tend to carry more weight than you need to—physically, emotionally, or mentally?
What does that weight feel like? -
What are you carrying that doesn’t actually belong to you?
Who gave it to you—and why did you accept it? -
Are there responsibilities, emotions, or expectations you’ve taken on to feel valuable or in control?
How are they serving you? How are they hurting you? -
What would it feel like to put that weight down—even just a little?
What would change? -
What can you do today to lighten your load and honor your limits?
Where can you say no, ask for help, or simply rest?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one burden you’ve been carrying that isn’t actually yours—and how are you learning to let it go?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s overwhelmed by weight they were never meant to carry, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
