conscious living

You Attract What You Are, Not What You Want

How many times have you asked yourself,
Why do I keep attracting the same kinds of people?
Why do the same patterns keep showing up in my life?
Why does it feel like I’m stuck in a loop?

It’s easy to think we’re just unlucky—or cursed with bad timing or bad energy.
But the truth is often more revealing: we attract what we put out.

And sometimes, what we think we’re putting out…
isn’t what we’re actually radiating at all.

What You Are Speaks Louder Than What You Want

We might see ourselves as kind, supportive, open-hearted people.
We might aspire to positivity, confidence, love, and light.
But if our actions and mindset don’t align with that energy…
we’ll keep attracting something very different.

What shows up in your life isn’t a reflection of your intentions.
It’s a reflection of your state of being.

That’s the hard truth. And also the empowering one.

My Experience: Living in the Dark

When I was deep in my illness, I often wondered why negativity seemed to follow me.
I’d joke that I must’ve done something awful in a past life.

But it wasn’t the universe punishing me—it was me.
It was my thoughts.
My energy.
My expectations.
And my refusal to face how much negativity I was quietly living in.

I tried to be a good person.
I wanted good things.
But my inner dialogue was toxic.
Even when something good would happen, I’d sabotage it with fear, doubt, or shame.

I didn’t feel like a negative person.
But I was living like one.
And the results matched that energy.

You Can’t Fool the Energy Around You

When I began my recovery, I started to see the pattern clearly.

If I expected the worst—I got it.
If I looked for the bad—I found it.
If I pretended to be positive—but was silently drowning in self-judgment—it didn’t matter.
Because energy doesn’t lie.

It wasn’t enough to want better.
I had to become better.

When I did the work—honest, vulnerable, sometimes painful work—things began to shift.

More light came into my life.
More supportive people.
More peace.

Did negativity disappear? Of course not.
But I stopped being drawn to it—and it stopped being drawn to me.

Live It to Attract It

We don’t attract what we hope for.
We attract who we are.

So if the patterns in your life aren’t what you want, don’t just ask, “Why does this keep happening?”
Ask:
“What energy am I really putting into the world?”
“Am I living the way I want to be loved, supported, and respected?”

Because life doesn’t respond to who you say you are.
It responds to how you live.

When you align your heart, mind, and actions with who you want to become—
That’s when the shift happens.
That’s when the energy changes.
And that’s when the right people and opportunities begin to show up.

SLAY Reflection: What Are You Attracting?

  1. Are you attracting people or situations that leave you feeling drained or dissatisfied?
    What patterns do you notice?
  2. What don’t you like about what’s showing up—and could it reflect something within you?
    How might your mindset or habits be contributing?
  3. Are you being honest with yourself about the energy you’re giving off?
    What might need to shift?
  4. What would it look like to live as the version of you you want to attract?
    What’s one step toward that today?
  5. How would your life change if you aligned your energy with your true values?
    What would start showing up?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one shift you’ve made that changed what you were attracting into your life—and how did it impact you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who keeps wondering why the same patterns keep repeating, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

How Is Your Now?

Fear can show up in sneaky ways. It did just the other day—while talking with a group of women, someone brought up fear, and we all shifted in our seats.

There’s a lot of uncertainty in the world right now. And with uncertainty often comes fear. But most fear doesn’t live in the present—it lives in the past or the future. That’s what makes it so tricky. It takes us out of the only place where we have power: the now.

When I feel fear creeping in—and I have, especially recently—I bring myself back to the present. I ground myself in gratitude. I focus on my breath. I ask: How is my now?

Because right now, in this moment, I’m okay.

Living Outside the Now

Before I began walking this path, I didn’t live in the now. I lived everywhere but here. I obsessed over what had already happened or worried about what might come next. I was spinning—and because I wasn’t grounded in the present, I couldn’t take meaningful action.

My life became unmanageable. Fear ran the show. And instead of facing what was in front of me, I avoided it. I let things slide. I convinced myself that if I ignored the chaos long enough, it might resolve itself. Spoiler: it didn’t.

Eventually, the only way forward was through. I had to stop hiding from the now and start making peace with it. Slowly, the present stopped feeling like a battlefield and started becoming a place of peace—a space where I could reflect, reset, and realign.

The more I committed to living in the now, the less power fear had over me. It still visits, of course. But today, I don’t let it drive. I stay focused on the moment—and when I do, I can breathe again.

Return to What’s in Front of You

We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We can’t change what’s already happened. But we can choose how we show up today.

Even when life feels uncertain, we can find clarity by focusing on what’s in front of us. One step. One breath. One moment at a time.

This is how we quiet the fear. This is how we get grounded.

And if the now doesn’t feel great? That’s okay. The present is still the place where change can happen. We get to respond differently. We get to choose a new direction.

Ask yourself: How is my now? And if you don’t like the answer, know that this is the best place to begin again.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: How Is Your Now?

  • Do you often get pulled into the past or future? How does that impact your emotional state?
  • What role does fear play in your life when you’re not present?
  • How do you feel when you manage to stay grounded in the now?
  • What tools or habits help you return to the present moment?
  • If today feels heavy, what’s one thing you can do right now to lighten the load?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’re bringing yourself back to the now when fear tries to take over?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in fear or uncertainty, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a moment of presence to find our power again.