When I was living in the dark every decision I made was based in fear, I didn’t realize that at the time, but looking back fear was the deciding factor in all of my choices and decisions. Fear of not getting what I wanted, fear of losing what I had, fear of not being good enough, fear of what you thought of me, fear that you already knew what a horrible person I was, fhose fears and more ran rapidly through my thoughts, at every moment, and were the driving force of all my decisions and choices. When I put my decision making through the filter of fear nothing good came out the other side, and when those decisions were made, I was in fear of being found out that I had made them, it as a horrible place to live in and I was in a constant state of irritability and discontent.
Fear can show up in many ways in our lives and it can be quite cunning and disguise itself as other things, it will tell us it’s other things other than what it is, or justify itself, but for me it was like a low lying fog, that was always there but made it nearly impossible to see the steps in front of me. It wasn’t until I made a commitment to get honest with myself that I had to face my fears. At the start, I wouldn’t have said I was afraid of much, but could admit I was afraid of where my disease was taking me, and I knew that if I didn’t face and identify my fears that my ultimate fear would come true, it would take my life. But sitting down and getting honest about what I was afraid of took some time, and some guidance from other people. First, I had to learn to trust, those that were there to help, and myself. When you live your life in a fear-based mode you stop trusting yourself to make the right decisions, you live your life in a fight or flight state of mind and always feel like you’re in the midst of some sort of trauma. Living a life of honesty and peace was a new concept for me, and I had to learn to slow down and think things through. I started out by asking myself, before each decision, what the next right thing was, and, there were many times when I began this journey that I did not know and had to ask, I also had to get over the fear of that, asking for help. But as I began to peel away at the onion of who I was the layers of fear revealed themselves to me, and there were many of them, but each of them gave me a specific area to heal and work on, and it was within that healing that those fears began to fall away leaving me to make better decisions for myself and the life I wanted to build for myself. Shedding those fears also let me get out of my own way and share who I truly was without the fear of being judged or not being enough, without fear I was able to see that those things that made me feel vulnerable were the same things that would help me to connect with others and help others who may still be living in fear.
Right now we all may be living with many forms of fear, and rightfully so due to our current circumstances, but how many of those fears are real and how many are imagined? How many do can actually name? We can’t tackle our fears if we don’t know what they are, driving our decisions or limiting our choices, it’s important to find our fears, flush them out, and let them go so we can live our life, not live in fear. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Would you say you are someone who lives in fear? What are you afraid of? Do you know what you are afraid of? What of your fears are real and what fears are of things that haven’t happened yet or may never happen? Where do those fears come from? What can you do to get rid of those fears you have imagined in your mind? What can you do about the fears that may be real and true in your life? How does it benefit you to be in fear? How does it hurt you? There is a healthy fear, a fear that keeps us from doing things that may harm us or others, but most fears are only holding us back from being who we are meant to be or living a life that we want for ourselves. Look at your fears and why you might be holding onto them, don’t let fear rob you of being your best self or living your best life.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
State Of Slay™ 