Now, I’m not going to lie, I do tend to be a little dramatic by nature, but I used to meet catastrophe with craziness. I would dial up the drama and add fuel to an already roaring bonfire never acknowledging that I may be making things worse, for the situation, and for my own peace of mind. But back then I never had any peace of mind, and I thought of most things as worse than the next, so I just would jump in feet first and get right in there. It wasn’t until I started on a new path, the path I am now, that I was told I didn’t have to do that. I had a choice. What? That was news to me. A lot of things were news to me at the start of my journey, but learning that I had, not only a choice, but a responsibility to myself, and honoring this new way of life, to not cause myself unnecessary harm, and to certainly not cause it for others.
In concept this seemed like a good idea. It made sense to me. But putting into practice proved to be challenging at first, and still can be on certain days. As I’ve said here at State Of Slay, life is not a game show, we don’t get extra points or cash and prizes for answering or reacting the fastest, in fact, it should be the opposite, we should get points for taking a moment and doing the right thing, but life isn’t about points, it’s about doing that next right thing, and not just for ourselves, but for those around us. In a sense, I liked the idea that it was my choice on how I could tackle something I considered a catastrophe, or disaster, or any kind of adversity, it felt powerful, but I had to learn how to use and harness that power. And, really, when I thought about it, when I reacted to things in the past, or overreacted, that didn’t feel powerful at all, it felt out of control. So, how did I take my power back? Well, I slowed down, for one. When I felt that fire in me bubble up from something that was going on, I would breathe, and if I needed to, I would step away, go outside, or even retreat to the restroom to cool down. I excused myself a lot at the beginning, and sometimes I still do, sometimes it’s just better to take a moment, or just not engage at all when there isn’t any way of making something better, or you realize, that what’s going on really has nothing to do with you and someone is just trying to take out their anger and frustration on you and there’s no way to make that situation better. It’s about giving yourself enough time to asses what’s really going, what can be done to make it better, if anything, if there is a resolution, and what the proper channels are to find one. You see why the pause is necessary? You can’t answer and discover all of those things while you’re flying off the handle and screaming at the top of your lungs to match someone else’s voice or energy. Take your power back, pause, then respond, or don’t respond, but don’t let ego take over and tell you you have to win, or that always can win in the moment, and, is winning even the point?
We are met with challenges every day, there are those people, places and things that will stand in the way of our composure, if we let them. Next time we meet up with a potential catastrophe try throwing some composure on the situation and see if you can dial down that catastrophe to just a situation, or, maybe turn it around to a good experience…it’s possible, give it a try. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you typically dive right in when something is going on or are approached to engage in a situation that may not involve you? Why? Do you find you have a tendency to have to be right? Do you find you have a tendency to have to try to fix any and all situations, even if they don’t involve you? Why do you think you feel the need to do this? When something is heated or gets you angry to rise to the same level of anger, or higher, to try to get your way? Why do you feel the need to do this? Do you have to be right, even when you’re wrong? Why do you feel the need to be right? SLAYER, all of these reactions or reasons are within your control, the question is, what serves your soul and peace of mind? It’s likely not confrontation.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
State Of Slay™ 