You’re OK

You’re OK…you’re still OK…you’re still OK…and…you’re still OK. It’s easy sometimes to get caught up in your own head, to make something bigger than it really is, or get caught up in the drama or the ‘what-if’s’ of a situation, but at the end of the day, you’re OK. Before starting on this journey I used to build everything up to be a cataclysmic epic event, everything was life and death, even the simplest things, I would get my blood pumping, my heart racing, and my thoughts firing off a millions miles an hour, I would get totally worked up and then my anxiety would kick in, the doom and gloom, and the fear would take over, but none if it was real, it was all concocted in my mind, and blown way out of proportion. I would cause myself so much unneeded worry and stress because I wasn’t living in reality, I wasn’t asking myself what the facts were of the situation, if there wasn’t drama, I would produce it, and I would try to pull anyone and everyone into it right along with me. Really, most of it, was just made up in my head. The reality was, I was OK.

When we’re used to living in drama, and think that’s normal or where we deserve to be, or think that’s where we want to be, the rush becomes like a drug, and when we can’t get it we make it ourselves, but we’re only harming ourselves by doing it, and we’re harming those around us we pull them into the vortex of our storm. The result of that is we cause ourselves a lot of anxiety, and many of us reach for outside fixes to calm ourselves down, even tell ourselves we ‘need’ these things because of our ‘stressful lives’, so we drink, take drugs, shop, use people and relationships, and so many other things to calm ourselves and tell ourselves those things are our medicine for the stressful life we have. But, we’re the ones causing the stress.

When we engage with people who are not looking out for our best interests, the drama will come, the anxiety, the hurt, and in those places, we are not OK, we can make ourselves OK by stepping back, stepping away from those people, places and things to get out of the drama and into the calm, but we have to be diligent about not letting those people, places and things in the first place. We also have to get used to living without drama, and that can be difficult if that’s what we’re used to, but it’s what we should do, it’s taking it’s toll on you and it’s not worth the results and what it creates, it’s also not how we live as SLAYERS. We live in the now, the present, we know the facts, we are asking the right questions, so we’re making sound decisions, we’re watching our people picker, choosing the right, or better, people to surround ourselves with, we are asking for what we want, making our expectations clear, and checking in to see what our intentions are. If we are doing all of things, we are OK. We’re OK! Life will do it’s dance, it’s going to roll along doing it’s thing, and it’s going to throw curve balls at us, that’s what it does, but when we stay on track with all of those things that ground us and give us a strong foundation, it can’t rock us off what we’ve built, and no matter how difficult it might be to walk through, we’re still OK.

Every once in a while something will get me, it’ll sneak up on me or just trigger something from my past and my anxiety will spike, and I have to remind myself that feelings aren’t facts, I have to ask myself what I know to be true about the situation, and how I can take action to make it better. I’m OK. In those moments my breathing can get shallow, which is not going to help me in my solution finding mission, so I have to slow down and breath deeply. When this happens there’s a trick I use, I place one hand on my abdomen and one hand on my heart, and I focus on only moving the hand on my abdomen, if the hand on my abdomen is moving, I am breathing deeply. I focus on my breath and count in for four, pause, and count out for four, it calms me down, it also works if I’m having trouble sleeping, for me, it works for every time.

You’re OK. Whatever may be happening for you right now that is causing you anxiety may just be fear, fear of the unknown, fear of loosing what you have, or fear of not getting what you want, fear and worry are not going to help you solve any of your problems, and what are the facts of the situation, are these fears and worries based on any kind of fact, or are you creating drama when the facts don’t back them up. None of us can control what’s going to happen, all we can do is the footwork and then things will unfold as they are meant to, so worrying about them and living in fear isn’t going to change anything and it certainly isn’t going to make it better. Live in the now, what do you know for sure? What can you take care of right now? What can you do to lay the groundwork to solve the problem? Take action. You are OK…you’re OK…you’re still OK, keep breathing SLAYER, you’re still OK.

SLAY OF THE DAY: What causes you anxiety? Are some of these things you cause yourself? Is living in a place of anxiousness or drama your normal? Why? What if you made a conscious effort to not engage with your anxiety, to stop listening to your head and look at the facts of the situation, what are the facts? What can you do about them to change them if you don’t like them? What’s in front of your hands? Sometimes there just isn’t anything more, or anything at all, we can do in a situation, if that’s the case, accept that, accept you’ve done what you can do, and move on. You’re OK SLAYER, SLAY on.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

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