I was never a yes person. Before starting on this journey when I was asked to do something new, something I wasn’t sure about, especially with people I didn’t know, I would say no. It was too scary. What if I wasn’t good at it? What if I looked foolish? What if no one liked me? It was all too risky to jump into something without knowing the outcome. This comes back around to letting go and not having control of any given situation. Consequently I missed out. I missed out on trying something different, maybe something I would have liked, and perhaps I would even have liked the people and made some new friends, perhaps, but I wasn’t open to new people in my life, unless I could tell they were just as messed up as I was, or maybe more, at least then I wouldn’t feel so bad about myself. But when I decided to make an effort in my life to be positive and to do things differently, I was encouraged to always say yes. ALWAYS say yes I thought, that’s crazy. A series a “buts” came after that suggestion was made, we’ll get to those “buts” another day, I thought of every scenario of what I might be asked to do and it gave me anxiety to even think of saying yes to things when I didn’t know what would happen, but I had made a commitment to get better, so I took the suggestion.
As scary as it was, I started say yes. And, I can’t say that I loved everything I got involved in, or all the people, but I realized that I had closed myself off to so much of the world because of fear, and had pretended to be who I thought you had wanted me to be for so long, I didn’t really know what I liked or who I wanted to hang around with. I began to look at saying yes as an invitation to get to know myself, an adventure of learning about me, suddenly the thought of saying yes seemed exciting, and abundant, there’s a whole world out there I never opened myself up to. Saying yes became something of an adrenaline rush, like going over the first drop on a roller coaster, or learning to fly on a trapeze, I knew I couldn’t get hurt, but I felt the rush of trying something new. And, because I started doing that, I started to learn about myself, who the real me was, what I liked to do, and who I wanted to do it with. I also started to trust that the opportunities that were being presented to me were not happening randomly, they were all part of my journey and growth, and I started to look forward to them trying to figure out why they had come my way, or doing it anyway and looking for the reasons later, even if the reason turned out to be that I had just tried.
Some years back I got offered an opportunity to teach. I thought it was crazy. I had never taught anything, ever, and hadn’t been in any class since my one semester of collage before I dropped out to start my adventure into adulthood many, many, years ago. Even though I was well into my years of saying yes, I had some reservations, how the heck was I going to teach a 104 hour workshop? I explained that I had never taught before, and the response was that I had a lot of experience in my field and that was more important than having teaching experience, they said they would give me a syllabus and I would figure it out. I’m not going to lie, I think I was shaking a little bit. But, what my journey had taught me was to suit up and show up, I did the footwork and stayed out of the results. I asked for advice from friends who taught, I audited their classes, and I used the guidelines I was given. I said yes, jumped in… and it was incredible. Having now taught since that first workshop, I cherish the times I’ve had the opportunity to teach and work with others, to see their potential and growth, and to be able to encourage and champion that is such a gift. I still stay in contact with many of my students today, and they all inspire me. Had I said no, I would have cheated myself that experience.
This blog is another example of me saying yes. I have never, in a public forum, discussed any of the thoughts and ideas I have here, but all the signs seemed to point to this place, and instead of bowing down to fear, I said yes, and like teaching you all amaze and inspire me, and I cherish every one of you who have chosen to walk this path with me. Thank you for saying yes and joining me on this journey SLAYERS. And, keep saying that, YES!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you afraid to say yes to new things? Why is that? What are some of the things that you have said yes to in the last year? What happened when you did? If you didn’t say yes, what do you think would have happened. I challenge you to say yes this week, say yes to new things and see what happens. Things are changing SLAYER, I can feel it. YES!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you