Let Your Freak Flag Fly

For most of my life, I placed a lot of importance on what others thought of me. I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time, but I did. I navigated through life hiding who I really was. I may have felt like a freak, but I thought that was a bad thing, and I wasn’t going to let you see it.

Many of us present different versions of ourselves to the world. Sometimes, we need to wear different hats, especially in professional settings. For me, there’s a professional hat—the one I wear at work functions, on set, or in meetings. But there’s also the Let Your Freak Flag Fly gal—the woman I now allow myself to be, the true me.

Don’t get me wrong. My “freak flag” self is still there at work, but she’s a little more subdued until I know my audience. In my personal life, though, I am living as my authentic self. I’ve touched on this in earlier blogs, but today I want to dive deeper into what that really means.

Who Am I, Really?

When I started my journey over 11 years ago, I had no idea who my “authentic self” was. Truthfully, she kind of scared me. I had spent years crafting a persona, and I was afraid of what I might discover underneath. I had never asked myself, Who am I? What do I like? What do I want?

I was too afraid to ask. I didn’t think I deserved the answers. I was too busy pretending or numbing myself to even consider them. The more I hid behind a façade, the more lost I became. It felt like I was trapped in a black hole, and I had to fight my way out.

Say YES to New Experiences

I encourage you to ask yourself those same questions:
Who am I? What do I like? What do I want?

Don’t second-guess the answers. There’s an authentic you dying to get out, and it may take time to find that version of you. That’s OK. Life isn’t a game show—there’s no buzzer to tell you time’s up. You’re on your own timeline.

For me, the answers didn’t come right away. I was encouraged to say yes to new things, to explore and discover myself through experience. So I did. If someone invited me to do something I’d never done, I said yes—no matter how scary it seemed. What I discovered was that saying yes, even when it terrified me, became exciting. Each new experience helped me learn more about myself and gave me the courage to keep exploring.

If I hadn’t said yes for all those years, I wouldn’t have started this blog. The thought of opening up my innermost thoughts to all of you was terrifying 12 years ago, but here I am—and I’m better for it.

Celebrate Your Uniqueness

When I teach (another thing I just said yes to!), I always tell my students to “let their freak flags fly.” That’s what makes each of us unique. It’s what sets you apart. And more importantly, it’s what makes you authentically you.

Discovering and celebrating your authentic self is the foundation for honoring, respecting, and loving yourself. It’s worth celebrating. We’re all different—a big YAY to that. How boring would the world be if we were all the same? Celebrate the things that set you apart. Celebrate you.

Trust me—whatever “freaky” thing you think you have or are, there are a whole bunch of people who will love you for it. I already do, you freak! Now, go out there and discover what makes your freak flag fly.

SLAY OF THE DAY:

  • Does the thought of trying new things scare you? Why?

  • What was the last new thing you tried? What did you take away from it?

  • What makes you unique? Do you celebrate those things?

  • Challenge yourself to say yes to new experiences. Discover the magic of your authenticity.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’re going to say yes to this week to honor your authentic self?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to embrace their authentic self, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

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6 thoughts on “Let Your Freak Flag Fly”

  2. Growing up I was so afraid of failure and disappointing anyone. If someone was mad, it must be my fault. My Dad was in the Army, then regular law enforcement and the bulk of his career in federal law enforcement. I was frightened to wear things I wanted to wear because I might disappoint him. He never supported my choices for choir or theater anyway. He fawned over my sister’s innate gift of ball, which he had as well and they spent all their time on the ball fields until she quite coaching college softball and became a cop.

    I always felt like I had to do the right thing, say the right thing, wear the right thing. By college, Dad said he wouldn’t pay for a music degree (I wanted to teach or go into therapy), so my saved money went to my equal love of history which he couldn’t say no to. Again with the idea to teach college.

    For fear of upsetting anyone I took all masks off, and went no makeup, ponytail tail (easy to put pencils in), jeans and t-shirts or sweaters. I had married and Wm has Aspergers. He really didn’t care when I was in college/grad school.

    Once I had my own house though I did start to branch out and find me. Funny socks, wierd tastes in the historical world, differin religious and political values from my family. I found I became a Liberal Hippy Momma much to my Dad’s chagrin. But I still find I want to please him when we talk.

    After being in a cage of migraines and other neuralgias for the last 10+ years I *can* tell you this. I know I have a fear of failure and I know my Libra desire is to keep everything balanced. That ain’t gonna happen. I’ve gotta a chance to do what I always wanted to do, no matter how I look, dress, etc. All that matters is my heart and why I’m doing something. And making sure I am harming none.

    Thank you Carrie. These were some deep places.

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    1. Love that you found and nourish your inner freak!

      I relate a lot to what you’re saying.

      I always thought if I was the “perfect girl” that I could fix everything and make everyone happy at home. What I know now that I didn’t know then was, that wasn’t my job, and, I couldn’t.

      We are all our own people, individuals, and even though we might share blood or DNA with someone, that doesn’t mean we are, or have to be the same. We need to be US, authentically.

      I’ve found that the more I live authentically, and from a place of self love, that those who used to push back at my lifestyle, ideas, or thoughts, started to ask questions because they saw a change in me, and if they didn’t, I just kept on living and loving my freaky ways. In the end, it’s our life to live and it’s decided by us, not those around us.

      Shine bright wiseoldowl72, wear your funny socks and be proud, maybe even dance around in them a little. You are authentically you, and that’s something to celebrate!

      SLAY on!

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  3. My journey started two years ago. Two years ago I received the news I had to undergo surgery, a hysterectomy. I put on the 100th mask. Telling people I was fine, I never wanted to be a mom. After the surgery, when I got home, there was 6 weeks recovery. 6 weeks me and my mind. Alone. Everything and all went through my mind. The years of an emotional and physical abusive relation, everything. The one thing my mind kept screaming the loudest was what is left, I’m not good for anything. I fell in the black hole and I fell deep. Talking about it, was not possible, I was still wearing 100 masks. Until the masks got too heavy, I had to make a choice. Leave or stay and take them off. Luckely there was just enough spark of life in me and I chose to stay and got help. The first question I got, or one of the first, was where I wanted to go, what did I like to see Willeke to be. For me that was the first time that someone asked me that. Till this day I feel that is the most important question someone asked me ever.

    I’m still answering that question, because I find new things I like or want almost every day. I also think it is a question you have to keep answering. As you grow, as you change, your authentic you changes with you.

    One of the things I discovered about authentic me, is that is like to travel. After years of being locked up inside afraid to go out, that scared the hell out of me. But I did it, this year I will visit my best friend in America. Ticket is booked. Now I’m just a little scared and just a lottle excited.

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    1. Agreed!

      When we are living authentically and saying YES to new things, we are constantly learning who we are and what we want to do. As you said, it’s always changing, how exciting is that?! There is always something new to discover when we open ourselves up to the outside world and new experiences, and, maybe taking a trip we’ve never taken before.

      I’m so proud of you, that the work you have done has gotten you to this place, sometimes it takes a lot of pain and heartache to get us there, I know for me it brought to me knees, but when we look back we see that all of those things had to happen to get us to a place of surrender, to a place where we were willing to make a change and to fight for ourselves.

      You are a winner today because you fought, and continue to, and you realize that you are not fighting alone, you’ve reached out through your fears to connect with others. You, and all of us, are better for it.

      Thank you for sharing your truth and your story, you are a valuable human being, shine bright and continue to shine for others who may still be in the dark.

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