resilience building

Tell Your Brain the Kind of Day You’re Going to Have

Have you ever noticed how your mornings set the tone for everything that follows? The moment you wake up, before your feet even hit the floor, your brain is already scanning for cues about what kind of day it’s going to be. And here’s the truth: what you tell your brain, your brain will look for.

That means if you wake up thinking, Ugh, this is going to be a hard day, your brain will search for every piece of evidence to confirm it. If you start the day with, I’m choosing peace today, your brain will find moments to validate that choice.

Your mindset is like a compass—point it in one direction, and your day will naturally start aligning with it. The question is, are you pointing it toward chaos or calm? Toward frustration or gratitude? Toward fear or courage?

Your Brain Believes What You Feed It

Here’s what’s fascinating: our brains are designed with something called the reticular activating system (RAS). It acts like a filter, deciding what gets your attention. When you tell your brain to focus on something—whether consciously or unconsciously—it scans your environment to find it.

Think of it like when you buy a new car, and suddenly you start seeing that same make and model everywhere. It’s not that the cars weren’t there before—it’s that your brain is now wired to notice them.

Your thoughts work the same way.

If you tell yourself, This meeting is going to be a disaster, your brain will notice every sigh, every side-eye, and every awkward silence. If you tell yourself, I can handle this with grace, your brain will pick up on the support, the nods, the opportunities to speak with confidence.

This is why starting your day with intentional thoughts is so powerful. Your brain is always listening.

The Power of Morning Scripts

The way you script your morning can shift everything. Here are some examples:

  • Instead of: Today’s going to be so stressful.
    Try: Today I’m choosing peace, no matter what comes my way.
  • Instead of: I’m so tired, this day is going to drag.
    Try: I have enough energy to handle what matters most today.
  • Instead of: Nobody respects me at work.
    Try: I respect myself, and I show up in a way that earns respect.

These aren’t empty affirmations. They are instructions for your brain. And when your brain has instructions, it follows them.

Frustration, Stress, and the Choice We Overlook

Life is going to throw things at you—that’s not optional. Someone cuts you off in traffic, a coworker sends a passive-aggressive email, your plans get derailed.

But here’s the key: those external things don’t decide the quality of your day. You do.

The outside world can invite you to be upset, but you are the one who accepts or declines that invitation.

When you catch yourself spiraling into negativity, pause and ask:
What did I just tell my brain about this moment? Did I tell it to look for the worst, or did I give it something else to notice?

It’s in those pauses that power lives.

Rewiring Takes Practice

If you’ve spent years waking up dreading the day or rehearsing worst-case scenarios, it’s going to take practice to redirect that thought pattern. And that’s okay.

Every time you catch yourself choosing the old script—This is going to be awful—and instead replace it with a new one—I’ve handled worse, and I will handle this too—you are literally rewiring your brain.

The more you do it, the easier it gets. Eventually, your default setting changes. Instead of your brain scanning for stress, it starts scanning for strength. Instead of looking for failure, it starts looking for possibility.

Tell Your Brain Where to Go

Think of your brain like a GPS. If you program it with the wrong address, you’ll end up somewhere you don’t want to be. But when you give it the right directions, it will get you closer to where you want to go.

So before you argue with someone, before you step into that meeting, before you check your email—set the address.

Tell your brain:

  • I’m going to stay calm.
  • I’m going to choose compassion.
  • I’m going to focus on solutions, not problems.

And watch how your day reroutes to align with it.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What’s the first thought you usually have when you wake up? Does it serve you or sabotage you?
  2. How often do you give your brain negative instructions without realizing it?
  3. What would it feel like to intentionally start your day with a thought that empowers you?
  4. When was the last time you caught yourself spiraling, and what did you do to redirect it?
  5. What’s one phrase you can start telling yourself tomorrow morning to shift your entire day?

S – Script your mornings with intentional thoughts
L – Let your brain look for evidence that supports your peace
A – Align your mindset with the day you want to create
Y – Yield to positivity and refuse to accept the invitation to chaos

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s the phrase you tell yourself that shifts the entire direction of your day?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in negative loops, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that our brains believe what we tell them.

Laugh in the Places You Cried

There’s something profoundly healing about returning to the places that once broke you—and finding yourself laughing there.

It doesn’t erase what happened. It doesn’t mean the tears weren’t valid. But it does mean you’ve grown. It means that grief, loss, or hardship no longer has the same power over you that it once did.

To laugh in the places you cried is not about pretending the pain never happened—it’s about showing yourself that joy can exist there too. It’s proof of resilience. It’s a reminder that your story didn’t end in the sorrow of that moment.

Pain Leaves Marks—But So Does Joy

The truth is, we all carry places inside us that feel haunted by memory. A room you once walked out of in tears. A street where your heart shattered. A house where you fought, lost, or grieved.

For a long time, those places can feel unbearable. You avoid them, you numb yourself, or you pretend they don’t matter. But eventually, life has a way of bringing you back.

And when it does, you’re not the same person who stood there before.

When you can laugh in the same space where you once cried, you prove that your spirit is bigger than your suffering. You transform the memory. You remind yourself that you are not stuck in the story of what happened there.

Your Scars Tell the Story of Your Strength

Think of the scars you carry—not just on your body, but on your heart. They’re proof that something hurt you, but also proof that you healed.

Your tears were real, but so is your laughter.

That’s the beauty of allowing yourself to live fully in both. You don’t have to deny the moments that broke you. But you also don’t have to live there forever.

When you let joy back into the places that once felt like endings, you’re not betraying your pain. You’re honoring it by showing what came after.

Turning Memory Into Medicine

For me, there have been places I thought I could never face again—rooms where I felt humiliated, benches where I cried from heartbreak, doorways I left with shame.

At first, I avoided them. I told myself it was better to never go back. But life pulled me there anyway. And when I found myself standing in those same spaces, I realized something powerful:

I could either let the pain live there forever, or I could write a new chapter.

The first time I laughed in one of those places, it felt strange—like I was trespassing on sacred ground reserved only for grief. But the truth is, grief doesn’t own that ground. I do. And so do you.

Every time you smile, laugh, or find joy in a space where you once broke down, you reclaim a piece of yourself that once felt lost.

You’re Not Erasing the Past—You’re Expanding It

Let’s be clear: laughing in the places you cried doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten. It doesn’t mean you’ve dismissed what happened or denied your feelings.

It means you’ve grown enough to hold both truths at once.

Yes, you were hurt here.
Yes, you cried here.
Yes, you thought you might never move past it.

And yes—you are also capable of joy here now.

That’s not erasure. That’s expansion. You’ve made room for more than one emotion, more than one story, more than one version of yourself.

Healing Is Circular, Not Linear

Sometimes we think healing means “moving on” and never looking back. But often, healing looks like returning to old ground with new eyes.

You circle back—not to stay stuck in the past, but to measure how far you’ve come.

And when you can laugh where you once cried, you see the full circle of your healing. You’re no longer in survival mode. You’re no longer defined by that wound. You’ve created space for something bigger: life after pain.

Reclaim Your Spaces

What if the places that broke you could become the places that build you?

That café where you ended things with someone toxic could also be the café where you laugh with a friend years later.

That park bench where you grieved could also be the park bench where you sit and watch a sunset in peace.

That room where you cried in shame could also be the room where you stand today with pride.

Your past doesn’t get the final word. You do.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What space in your life feels tied to a painful memory?
  2. How would it feel to reclaim that space with joy?
  3. Can you think of a time when you surprised yourself by laughing in a place that once felt heavy?
  4. How did that shift your perspective on healing?
  5. What step can you take this week to create a new memory in an old space?

S – See the spaces that still carry your pain
L – Let yourself imagine joy returning there
A – Allow both tears and laughter to exist in the same place
Y – Yield to healing that expands, not erases

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever laughed in a place you once cried—and how did it change you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s still haunted by the places they’ve cried, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that healing makes room for joy too.