crossroads

When Was The Last Time You Did Something For The First Time?

Good question. Today. The answer for me was today. But before stepping on this path, I probably had to think about it for a while, and if I was able to come up with an answer, it probably would have been a long time ago. I got stuck in a cycle of darkness and despair. I would wake up angry I woke up, having wished the night before that I would just die in my sleep, I would tell myself that the day ahead was going to be different, but it never was, and I went to bed angry that I had just repeated the same day over yet again. But, I wasn’t doing anything different, so how could I expect anything different than what I had been getting? My head wanted me to relive the same day over and over because it wanted to keep me sick. It wanted me to say right where I was until I couldn’t take it anymore. And I got to that point. The point of not being able to take it anymore, and then I was at a crossroads, do I do something different, something for the first time, or let the same things take me out? I chose to do something for the first time, and I reached out for help. That saved my life.

Now, doing something for the first time might not be as dire as that, but it might be. The decisions we make every day effect how we see ourselves, our lives, those around us, and the trajectory where we’re going and who we come into contact with. While I was on my road to recovery I was encouraged to say yes to things, to try new things and to break out of the routine I had been in. Saying yes to new things was a bit scary at first. As much I didn’t like the way things were, I knew what the result was going to be, there were no surprises, as sick as I was, there was comfort in that place I knew, trying new things felt scary, like falling from the sky without a parachute or net, but I had to jump if I wanted to learn to fly.

I tried to look at new things as something exciting, that perspective helped those three letters come out of my mouth, y-e-s. I said yes to pretty much everything, as long as it was moving me forward and helping me in my recovery. And you know what? The more I did it, the less scary it became, and, I learned a lot about myself in the process. I had never asked myself what I liked or wanted, outside of career, I just tried to blend in, and did what I thought you wanted me to do so you wouldn’t ask a lot of questions. This was now my time! My time to discovery who I really was, and what I really liked. I also met a lot of cool people along the way, people I never would have met if I had kept saying no and isolated in my apartment. Saying yes to me meant saying yes to life, and I was determined to live.

Today I still say yes to new things. In fact, I look for new things to say yes to. I continue to learn about myself because I continue to grow and explore, and saying yes to new things is a key ingredient to that. There is so much out there that I haven’t done, or even know about, saying no and only sticking with what I know is doing myself a huge disservice, I’ve come this far, why would I stop now? Are you getting in the way of your own growth or health by saying no to new things?

SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you open trying new things? If not, why not? When was the last time you said yes to something new? What was it? What was the result? Do you typically say yes to new things? What positive things has saying yes brought to your life? What has it taught you? How has it helped you grow? If you haven’t been saying yes, how do you think it may be hurting you? Are you currently happy where you are? Is there something you could say yes to that might move you forward, away from the place you currently find yourself? Where would you like to find yourself? How can you get there? Life presents us with many choices every day, if we don’t say yes to new things we stay stuck where we are, and, we may be missing out on where we should be.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Sometimes You Have To Make Permanent Decisions In Instant Moments

There have been moments my life, when maybe I had been putting myself in a situation I shouldn’t have been in, or had stayed too long in a place I should have long left, that will come to a head and I need to make a permanent decision in an instant moment. Those moments don’t seem too instant usually though because I typically know that they will come one day, because where I am is not where I am meant to be. There are times though, when things do pop up unexpectedly and a decision has to be made for our own health and safety. When those moments come up, if we don’t know ourselves, and what’s best for us, we could easily make the wrong decisions in those instant moments out of panic our uncertainty of what to do next.

When I was in my disease that moment came, it came on a night that was like any other night, but it wasn’t, for some reason, on that night, I got really scared, and I knew that I was at a crossroads, suddenly, and that if I didn’t make the right decision, my life could be over. Both of my choices were permanent decisions, just one was the right choice, the choice I did make, and the other was the path I had been on which would only lead to one ultimate end, my end. I don’t know why, on that particular night, I realized I had to make a choice in that moment, because I didn’t even really know what the solution to it was, but I instinctively knew that I had to surrender to the way I had to been living and let go of the belief that I had things under control and knew better. And maybe that was the only sound decision I was capable of making with the knowledge I had, that I didn’t have it under control and all I could do was surrender and ask for help. That act set forth the journey I am still on today. And, the path I plan to stay on.

We are presented with many crossroads in our lifetime. Those moments when we can choose what path to take, and most of the time we know which path we should be on, we don’t always take it, but we usually know the right way, or at least, the first step to get us on that right path. Much of having the right information when those instant moments arise is knowing ourselves, know who we are, what we want, and having a connection to something bigger than ourselves to help guide us to the place we’re meant to be. I didn’t know myself when I made that permanent decision that night, but something inside of me knew what the next right step was, to call and ask for help.

If you find yourself in a place you shouldn’t be in, or can’t stay in, or know is not the best place for you, think about what you can do to get out, look for those opportunities, people, moments when there may be some guidance coming through that is showing you where to go. Take the time to get to know yourself, to learn to love yourself and believe that you deserve better than what you have, or where you are, if that does not serve you. Seek out those people, those places, that allows you to be your best you, that celebrates your spirit, and who you are. And know, when those instant moments come up where you have to make a permanent decision that you have the information you need to make the right decision, a decision that could lead you to your destiny, of where you’re meant to be if you just take that chance. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Have there been times in your life that you’ve had to make a permanent decision in an instant moment? List one. What was the result? Where you prepared for it? Why had you left something so long that you were forced to make a decision instantly? Did you know prior to that moment that that same decisions should have been made? Looking back, where there signs that that instant moment was coming? What can you do differently today to make better decisions so you’re not forced to make major decisions instantly? Take a look at your life SLAYER, look at where you are, who you’re with, and if you are where you are supposed to be, if you’re not, look for those moments to make some permanent decisions to get your on the right path and on the road to making your dreams a reality.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you