When I look back at how I used to live, I can clearly see how my behaviors and choices led me to the edge of my emotional, spiritual, and physical bottom. I didn’t wake up every day actively wanting to die, but it felt like I was slowly choosing to end my suffering through the choices I was making—death by installment.

At the time, I couldn’t see another solution to the pain I was in. I wasn’t sharing my struggles with anyone, so the only voice I heard was the negative one in my head, and it told me I was right. I wouldn’t have said I was on a path of self-destruction, but now, standing nearly 14 years beyond my worst, I can see it clearly.

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Recognizing the Patterns

It’s always easier to see patterns in hindsight—the choices, the behaviors, the downward slide. When you’re in it, it’s much harder to see just how far you’ve fallen. Often, the people around us can see it, but while we’re caught in the spiral, we’re rarely willing to hear it.

In my life, there were countless signs that my actions were compromising my safety, health, and spirit. There were moments that should have been wake-up calls. But instead of asking for help, I brushed them off and kept going.

At first, I lived in denial. When things went wrong, I’d tell myself it wasn’t that bad. But denial eventually gave way to shame, guilt, and finally, apathy. I stopped caring. And when you stop caring about your own well-being, you’re playing a dangerous game—one that could end in disaster.

I’m incredibly fortunate that someone came into my life who recognized what was happening. They shared their story of recovery with me, and for the first time, I saw hope. They showed me that a different life was possible—if I was willing to work for it. Thankfully, I was.

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The Power of Choice

Many of us engage in self-harming behaviors—whether it’s neglecting our physical health, ignoring our mental and spiritual wellness, or taking risks that put us in danger. Sometimes it’s subtle, and sometimes it’s glaring. But no matter how it shows up, it’s a slow march toward destruction.

The truth is, we hold the key to our own well-being. It takes rigorous honesty and humility to look at the choices we’re making and ask ourselves: Are these choices serving me? Or am I slowly writing a story of decline, one installment at a time?

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A Turning Point

For me, the turning point came when I was willing to face the truth—that I was living in a way that was harming me, that I was denying myself the life I deserved. I had to be honest, with myself and with others, and I had to surrender.

That surrender wasn’t weakness. It was strength. It was reclaiming my power and choosing to live.

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Where Are You Today?

We all make choices every day. Some lead us closer to the light, and some drag us deeper into the shadows. The question is: Are you making choices that honor your life and your worth?

If you’re on a path that’s slowly breaking you down, it’s time to stop. It’s time to ask for help, to speak your truth, to make a different choice. You deserve more. But first, you have to believe that.

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SLAY OF THE DAY:

• Looking back at your life, do you feel you’ve made choices that serve you? If not, why not?

• Have you changed the way you live to reflect more positive, life-affirming choices?

• Are you still making choices that harm you or lead you down a destructive path?

• What can you do today to stop this cycle?

• Do you believe you deserve to live a healthy, fulfilling life? If not, why not?

You matter, SLAYER. I believe that. Now it’s time for you to believe it, too. Take that first step—share your truth with someone you trust, and open yourself to finding a new way forward. SLAY on.

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Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one change you can make today to choose a healthier, more fulfilling path?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who might need this message, send it to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.