Sometimes we stay somewhere that feels safe even though it’s killing us. Sometimes we go after a job, a relationship, a situation that we feel we want, need, deserve, but we don’t belong there, and the pursuit of it is killing us. Sometimes we believe if we don’t get something or can’t maintain something we will die, but it’s the forcing of our will or the story we tell ourselves that we don’t deserve more than we have, or things have to look a certain way, that slowly kills us inside.
Life shows us where we’re supposed to be, what we can attain and who we can attain it with. We don’t always listen, out of fear, or not believing it to be true, but the signs are always there. When we’re in a situation that does not serve us there will be many signs that we should get out, people in our lives may even tell us to get out. Many times we make excuses and may stay telling ourselves we’re better off where we are, maybe even safer there, but the truth is, if it is not where we are meant to be, if we’re not reaching our full potential, we will slowly die there. Our soul will atrophy, and we will never see and feel the things we are meant to. I find this so sad, and yet, for most of my life I was slowly killing myself to live in the shadows, to be invisible, and as I lived there, I slowly slipped away and was killing myself in the process. I did realize that at the time, and I welcomed it. I wanted to disappear from the place I was, it had become too painful to live there and to complicated to numb myself enough to make it OK. I stayed out of fear, out of shame, ego, and from self-hatred, not believing, truly, that I deserved better. I was lucky that someone came into my life and showed me that it was possible to have more than I did, and that I did deserve better, and then the work began for me to believe it myself and go get it.
Why do we stay? Why do we try to force situations that don’t feed our soul, that don’t nourish us, encourage us, inspire us? Why do we tell ourselves it’s OK? It’s not. The price is too high to pay if something is killing you to stay there, killing any part of you, there is always a way out, another option if you look for it, if you’re open to it, if you allow yourself to look outside of where you are. We have the power to change our story, our situation, even a little, to make it better for us, to change the direction of where we are headed, or where we should be. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give ourselves is to pause and ask ourselves if we’re happy. If we’re living up to our potential. If where we are is true to who we are? And if it’s not, asking ourselves what we can do today to make a positive change in that situation, no matter how small, because that little crack through an open door, can sometimes let enough light in that you will find that door, and eventually, hopefully, kick it down, or at least turn the knob and walk through.
It’s time to get really honest with yourself SLAYER, it’s time to look at the place you stand, right now, and ask yourself if it’s killing you to be there, to stay there, or to get there? If it is, that price is too high to pay. Make the investment in you, in finding your place, what you love, where you need to be. All of those things you have dreamed of may be just within your reach, with a little work, trust and faith you are being led to them. Follow your heart, always, and get to work, your destiny is waiting for you.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you happy where you are today? If not, why not? How can you change your situation to become happier? To make it better for yourself? Do you try to force things to be a certain way because you think they should be that way? Is the fact that you are trying to force something to be a certain way killing you? Making you unhappy? Are there other options out there that may make you happier, even if they are different from what you think things should look like? What are they? What stops you from going after those things? Get quiet today SLAYER, ask yourself if you are truly happy where you are, if you’re not, ask yourself where you could be that will make you happy, and what step you can take today to get you there. It’s all within our reach with an open mind, open heart and the courage to walk through that fear to get what we truly want. SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
2 thoughts on “Are You Killing Yourself To Live?”
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SLAY on Annielicious! SLAY on.