mirror work

Everyone Wants to Change the World—But Are You Willing to Change Yourself?

There’s a lot of talk about change right now—and that’s a good thing.

Awareness is the first step. Conversation is the second. But here’s the truth I’ve learned:
Real change begins with you.

It starts with how you show up in your life.
How you treat yourself.
How you treat others.
What you contribute to your relationships, your community, your world.

And the most powerful change I’ve ever experienced didn’t come from trying to fix someone else—it came from the moment I stopped pointing fingers and started looking in the mirror.

It’s Not Them. It’s You.

Before I began this path of healing, my default was blame.
If something wasn’t working, it was your fault.
If I didn’t get what I wanted, it was because you messed up.

I lived in a constant state of resentment, convinced the world needed to change—never realizing I had the power to change my world by changing myself.

The truth? That mindset kept me stuck.

When we expect others to adjust for our comfort, we end up in a loop of frustration and disappointment. Change can’t be something we demand from others—it’s something we must embody.

That doesn’t mean other people don’t have room to grow. But it’s not our job to mold them.
It’s our job to decide who we are—and who we want to be in relationship with.

The Mirror Never Lies

Sometimes what bothers us most in someone else is something we haven’t fully healed in ourselves.
It’s like life holds up a mirror—and instead of facing what we see, we blame the reflection.

That’s the moment where growth begins.
That’s the invitation:
To stop reacting and start reflecting.

Even when there’s no direct mirror involved, change must come from the inside out.

If a dynamic no longer feels aligned, maybe you’ve outgrown it. That’s okay. Growth often means stepping out of what’s familiar and choosing what’s right—even if it’s uncomfortable.

Let the Ripple Begin With You

The most impactful changes I’ve made in my life didn’t happen because someone else demanded them.
They happened when I decided I wanted something better for myself.

And you know what?
When I changed, everything around me changed, too.

Relationships improved.
Boundaries became clearer.
Opportunities showed up that had never been possible before—because I wasn’t ready for them until then.

Change starts within.
And from there, it ripples out to everything—and everyone—around you.

SLAY OF THE DAY: What Needs to Change—In You?

  • Do you tend to look outside yourself when things feel off?

  • Have you waited for others to change while staying the same?

  • What’s one thing you’ve wanted to shift in your life—and what would it look like to begin that change within yourself?

  • When have you seen personal growth ripple outward into other areas of your life?

  • Who have you outgrown—and what might that say about the evolution you’re stepping into?

  • What’s one action you can take today to embody the change you want to see?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ve seen personal change impact the world around you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been talking about change but unsure where to start, send this to them.
Sometimes, the most powerful shift happens the moment we turn inward.

We Are Mirrors Of Each Other

We’re all mirrors for each other.
We have more in common than we think, and when we allow ourselves to look for the similarities instead of the differences, something powerful happens—we begin to see ourselves in others. And when we truly see ourselves, healing begins.

Before I started this path, I wasn’t open to that idea.
I judged others. I needed to feel better than the people around me, so I pointed out what separated us. I picked at their flaws to cover up my own. It made me feel superior—but it also kept me sick and isolated.

The truth?
I believed I was a piece of crap, but still thought I had a better solution than you did. That’s how twisted my thinking was.
It wasn’t until someone shared their story with me—raw and honest—that something shifted. I saw myself in them. For the first time, I recognized my reflection in someone else. And it changed everything.

Seeing the Truth in Someone Else

They had the same mental illness I did. They struggled the way I had. But they were getting help. They were doing the work.

In that moment, I couldn’t lie to myself anymore.
I wasn’t different.
I wasn’t better.
I was just like them.
And if they could find a way forward… maybe I could too.

The Power of Similarities

Early in recovery, I was told: “Look for the similarities, not the differences.”
That became my mantra.

So I listened.
I really listened—to what people were saying, how they were living, what they were feeling. And the more I listened, the more I saw myself reflected in their stories. I began to connect.

But here’s the thing: you have to be willing to see it.
You have to let go of the need to feel different or better.
You have to get honest about who you are.

And sometimes that honesty is tough. Those mirrors don’t lie.
They show us the parts of ourselves we’ve been trying to hide.

Learning to Accept the Reflection

Looking in the mirror hasn’t always been easy.
There were times I saw things I didn’t like.
But I knew if I wanted to get better, I had to face it.

That meant living with rigorous honesty.
If I saw something in myself I didn’t like, I had to:

  • Address it
  • Change it
  • Or learn to accept it if I couldn’t

We all walk around with mirrors. Sometimes our reflection helps others. Sometimes someone else’s reflection helps us. Nothing is accidental. We cross paths with the people we’re meant to—people who inspire us, challenge us, or show us who we really are.

And if we’re paying attention, those reflections can save our lives.

From Shame to Shared Light

I no longer hide my reflection. I don’t carry shame about what I’ve lived through or how far I’ve come. My reflection is what connects me to others. And if someone else sees a piece of themselves in me? Even better.

Because just like someone else once helped me recognize myself, maybe my story—my mirror—can help someone else too.

I also pay attention to what I see in other people.
If I’m triggered, if something feels off or uncomfortable, I ask myself: What is this showing me about me?
Maybe it’s something I need to look at. Maybe it’s something I need to change. Maybe it’s something I need to love.

Recognizing myself in someone else’s reflection is what saved my life.
And it might just save yours—if you’re willing to look.

SLAY Reflection: What Do You See?

  1. Are you open to seeing the commonality in others?
    What might be keeping you from looking?
  2. Do you sometimes feel superior to others?
    Where did that come from—and how might it be holding you back?
  3. What reflections have others shown you about yourself lately?
    How did you respond to them?
  4. Are there parts of your reflection you’ve been avoiding?
    What’s one small step you can take toward healing or accepting it?
  5. Have you ever seen yourself in someone else—and felt less alone because of it?
    How did that moment change you?

    Call to Action: Join the Conversation

    I’d love to hear from you.
    Have you ever seen yourself in someone else’s story—and how did that moment change you?
    Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

    And if you know someone who needs a reminder that they’re not alone, send this to them.
    Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.