How many times have you asked yourself,
Why do I keep attracting the same kinds of people?
Why do the same patterns keep showing up in my life?
Why does it feel like I’m stuck in a loop?
It’s easy to think we’re just unlucky—or cursed with bad timing or bad energy.
But the truth is often more revealing: we attract what we put out.
And sometimes, what we think we’re putting out…
isn’t what we’re actually radiating at all.
What You Are Speaks Louder Than What You Want
We might see ourselves as kind, supportive, open-hearted people.
We might aspire to positivity, confidence, love, and light.
But if our actions and mindset don’t align with that energy…
we’ll keep attracting something very different.
What shows up in your life isn’t a reflection of your intentions.
It’s a reflection of your state of being.
That’s the hard truth. And also the empowering one.
My Experience: Living in the Dark
When I was deep in my illness, I often wondered why negativity seemed to follow me.
I’d joke that I must’ve done something awful in a past life.
But it wasn’t the universe punishing me—it was me.
It was my thoughts.
My energy.
My expectations.
And my refusal to face how much negativity I was quietly living in.
I tried to be a good person.
I wanted good things.
But my inner dialogue was toxic.
Even when something good would happen, I’d sabotage it with fear, doubt, or shame.
I didn’t feel like a negative person.
But I was living like one.
And the results matched that energy.
You Can’t Fool the Energy Around You
When I began my recovery, I started to see the pattern clearly.
If I expected the worst—I got it.
If I looked for the bad—I found it.
If I pretended to be positive—but was silently drowning in self-judgment—it didn’t matter.
Because energy doesn’t lie.
It wasn’t enough to want better.
I had to become better.
When I did the work—honest, vulnerable, sometimes painful work—things began to shift.
More light came into my life.
More supportive people.
More peace.
Did negativity disappear? Of course not.
But I stopped being drawn to it—and it stopped being drawn to me.
Live It to Attract It
We don’t attract what we hope for.
We attract who we are.
So if the patterns in your life aren’t what you want, don’t just ask, “Why does this keep happening?”
Ask:
“What energy am I really putting into the world?”
“Am I living the way I want to be loved, supported, and respected?”
Because life doesn’t respond to who you say you are.
It responds to how you live.
When you align your heart, mind, and actions with who you want to become—
That’s when the shift happens.
That’s when the energy changes.
And that’s when the right people and opportunities begin to show up.
SLAY Reflection: What Are You Attracting?
- Are you attracting people or situations that leave you feeling drained or dissatisfied?
What patterns do you notice? - What don’t you like about what’s showing up—and could it reflect something within you?
How might your mindset or habits be contributing? - Are you being honest with yourself about the energy you’re giving off?
What might need to shift? - What would it look like to live as the version of you you want to attract?
What’s one step toward that today? - How would your life change if you aligned your energy with your true values?
What would start showing up?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one shift you’ve made that changed what you were attracting into your life—and how did it impact you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who keeps wondering why the same patterns keep repeating, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
