We’ve all been there.
That moment when you feel completely justified.
You warned them. You told them what would happen. And now—here you are, furious, ready to let loose with every ounce of frustration you’ve stored up.
You’re 100% right…
And still, something feels 100% wrong.
That’s the tricky thing about anger.
It might feel powerful in the moment—but often, it leaves you feeling more hollow than healed.
Our Reactions Are Our Responsibility
If you have a problem with someone, the truth is: that problem is yours to manage.
You decide:
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Who you engage with
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How far you let them in
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What boundaries you set
There will always be people we have to interact with—coworkers, family members, even acquaintances we didn’t choose. But even in those cases, we are still the ones who determine how much access they have to our energy.
This blog connects back to so many past entries:
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People Picker – choosing aligned connections
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Ask For What You Want – clearly stating your needs
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Intentions: The Truthseeker – staying honest about your “why”
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Finding Grace in the Gray Areas – learning to live in nuance
It all comes back to this: we are in charge of how we engage.
When We Engage to Feel Superior
Sometimes we step into situations knowing they won’t end well.
Why?
Because deep down, we’re looking for a reason to get angry.
To say “I told you so.”
To feel superior, righteous—even if it’s just for a moment.
Anger, in this form, is seductive.
It gives us a temporary hit of control, of power.
But it fades.
And once it does, we’re left with the truth: we used that anger to fill something inside us.
A need. A hurt. A void.
And it didn’t work.
Lashing Out Isn’t Leadership
When you feel like lashing out, when you feel morally superior, when you want to “teach someone a lesson”—pause.
Ask yourself:
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Could I have avoided this situation?
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Did I knowingly enter this dynamic?
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Am I trying to justify my anger by proving someone wrong?
A lot of self-righteous anger comes from the need to control.
But here’s the hard truth: we can’t control anyone else.
We only control ourselves.
Trying to control others will always lead to the same outcome:
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Disappointment
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Resentment
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Frustration
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Anger
That’s not power.
That’s a cycle.
Break the Cycle with Compassion
The way out is through awareness, compassion, and boundaries.
We avoid self-righteous anger by:
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Engaging with people who align with us
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Setting boundaries with those who don’t
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Letting go of the illusion that anger makes us strong
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Staying open, flexible, and willing to grow
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Being clear with others—and honest with ourselves
And most importantly: not exploding when someone behaves exactly as they always have.
Wishful thinking won’t change a pattern.
Anger won’t either.
But self-awareness will.
Anger Is a Signal, Not a Strategy
Righteous anger might feel satisfying in the moment.
But if the goal is to belittle someone, to control them, or to make yourself feel bigger—it’s not righteous. It’s a reaction.
And reactions are usually about us, not them.
As SLAYERS, we take responsibility for that.
We engage with kindness.
We communicate with clarity.
We protect our energy by refusing to get pulled into battles we don’t need to fight.
So if you’re angry—own it.
Sit with it.
Figure out where it’s coming from.
Then SLAY that dragon—and walk forward in peace.
SLAY Reflection: Are You Fueling the Fire?
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Do you knowingly get involved with people or situations that you expect will upset you?
Why do you think you do that? -
Does your anger give you a sense of control or superiority?
What do you think it’s really covering up? -
How does this behavior affect your relationships and your self-esteem?
What’s the cost? -
What would change if you chose not to engage the next time anger arises?
How could you protect your peace instead? -
What would your life look like if you honored your boundaries instead of your ego?
Can you write down the benefits of releasing the need to be right?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
When was a time you caught yourself reacting from anger instead of truth—and what did you learn from it?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s working on letting go of the need to be right, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
