Pushing Yourself Until You Break

I used to push myself until I broke.

Whether it was exercise, my to-do list, or unrealistic expectations, I was constantly competing with myself to do more, to be more. Sure, it’s healthy to set goals, but not at the cost of your well-being. I thought pushing myself to the limit proved my worth. But it wasn’t sustainable—and it wasn’t healthy.

When You Don’t Like Yourself, You Push Too Hard

The truth was, I didn’t like myself.

I set impossible expectations and used them as a weapon against myself. I’d force myself to work out, even when sick. I’d overschedule until I was drowning. And when I couldn’t meet those unrealistic goals, I’d berate myself for failing. I never let myself rest or breathe—I was always on the go, always one step from a breakdown.

I realize now that this was my way of proving something to myself and to the world. I wanted people to see me as a superwoman who could do it all. I hoped to impress or intimidate them enough to avoid questions. But deep down, I was trapped in a toxic cycle.

Learning to Love Myself—and Find Balance

When I learned to love myself, I also learned to adjust my expectations.

I started practicing self-care, giving myself breaks, and embracing my human limitations. I realized that not completing everything on my to-do list didn’t make me a failure—it made me human. Today, I still feel frustrated when I don’t get everything done, but I’ve learned to let it go. I can always tackle it tomorrow.

Now, I focus on balance. I still juggle a lot, but I make space for flexibility. I prioritize moments with myself or someone I care about. I no longer need a completed list to feel worthy. My worth comes from listening to what I need each day, not what my ego demands.

Honor Yourself and Your Limits

Listen to yourself. Push where you want to grow, but not at the expense of your peace. Set goals and do your best—but know your best will change from day to day. The key is to put you at the top of your to-do list.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you set unrealistic expectations for yourself? List three.

  • What makes them unrealistic? Why do you set them?

  • What can you do to make them more realistic?

  • What can you do to continue setting realistic goals in your life?

  • How do you react when you don’t meet a goal?

  • Do you feel the need to one-up others? Why?

  • Does your ego push you past your limits to exhaustion? What can you do to stop?

Self-love and self-care should always come first. The goals you reach will be sweeter because you’ll achieve them when you’re ready—not when your ego says so.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one small step you can take today to prioritize self-care and set realistic goals?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s support each other.

And if you know someone pushing themselves too hard, send this to them.
Sometimes, the best reminder is a simple “You’re enough.”

Discover more from State Of Slay™

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

5 thoughts on “Pushing Yourself Until You Break”

    1. I think it falls under the same type of thinking. We sometimes engage in behavior that will continue to tell the story we want to tell, and if not making goals for yourself allows you to continue to feel badly about yourself. The question is, why do you continue to participate in behavior that makes you feel bad? Something to ponder today SLAYERS.

      Thank you for sharing, I hope you continue to do more of it. SLAY on!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  2. “Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s healthy to set goals and to push yourself, to not sit stagnant, but not to a point where your body and mind are breaking down. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to go above and beyond where we’ve ever been before? And, if we don’t meet that goal beat ourselves up for being a failure, or less-than?

    For me it came down to not liking who I was. For always feeling I was wasn’t good enough, so when I couldn’t reach my unrealistic goals I could continue to tell the narrative that I just didn’t measure up, and never would. I would force myself to workout, even when sick, I would over schedule myself and when I ran late or wasn’t able to get it all done I again could berate myself failing. I would never let myself rest, or relax, or just pause and breathe, I was always on the go, and I was going to eventually hit a wall and crumble into the ground.” (C.G.)

    I’ve got to be honest – I’ve been on the go a lot recently and not doing much self-care because I was so afraid of going into the void. Then I went into The Void. Partially out of doubt, partially out of frustration and mostly because I got triggered by things I was supressing. I have been over scheduling myself, running late and not showing up or being present. I’m learning through the acting that it’s super important to be present. I’ve been missing cues and lines because I wasn’t focused on the here and now – thinking I was still in practice when I ought to be in dress rehearsal. If that makes sense.

    “Be good to yourself, honor yourself, and listen to what you need…” (C.G.)

    Thank you again for reading my mail. ❤ N

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. It’s funny that at this time that you’ve decided to take on the new challenge of acting, which is all about being present. There’s a reason for it.

      Live in the moment, focus on being present. When my mind wanders I ask myself, “what’s in front of my hands?” That gets me back to the present. And allows me to take action where I am.

      Not holding on to things will also help you stay in the present. When we suppress things they will come out and pull us back to what we’ve been stuffing down, which will pull us out of the present. When we deal with things as they come up, we stay present.

      Focus on the present, keep your schedule manageable, do what needs to be done, or is time-sensitive, and let the rest go if you run out of time, there’s always tomorrow. What’s most important is taking care of you, because without self-care you’re setting yourself up for failure. Take care of your needs and the rest will fall into place.

      SLAY on!

      Like

      Reply

Leave a reply to En Cancel reply