Choose the Rooms That Expand You

Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with certain people.

Some conversations leave you energized.

You leave thinking about an idea you want to pursue.

Something you want to create.

A risk you might finally take.

A different way of looking at your life.

Other conversations leave you knowing an extraordinary amount about people who weren’t even in the room.

Who did what.

Who said what.

Whose relationship is falling apart.

Who got the opportunity they didn’t deserve.

Who looks different.

Who made a mistake.

Who everyone has decided is the problem this week.

And sometimes we participate without really noticing the difference.

It can feel like connection.

After all, we’re talking. We’re laughing. We’re sharing information. We’re engaged.

But not every conversation that connects us expands us.

There’s a difference between talking about people because we’re genuinely processing something that affects our lives and making other people’s lives the primary source of our entertainment.

One helps us understand.

The other can quietly become a habit.

And habits of conversation matter because attention is finite.

Every hour we spend dissecting what someone else is doing is an hour we’re not talking about what we want to do.

What we’re curious about.

What we’re afraid to try.

What we’re learning.

What we’re building.

Where we want our lives to go next.

The people around us influence what feels normal to talk about, think about, and eventually pursue.

Spend enough time around people who are excited about ideas and you may find yourself thinking more creatively.

Spend time around people who are taking risks and suddenly your own risks may feel a little more possible.

Be around people who are growing, questioning, learning, and building, and the conversation naturally begins asking something of you, too.

What are you doing with your life?

Not competitively.

Not judgmentally.

But expansively.

And that doesn’t mean every conversation needs to be profound or productive.

Sometimes we need to laugh about absolutely nothing.

Sometimes we need to vent.

Sometimes we need to talk through what someone did because it hurt, confused, or affected us.

The question is what dominates the room.

Do the conversations around you make your world feel larger?

Or do they keep your attention fixed on everyone else’s?

Because the right people don’t just give you somewhere to belong.

They can remind you how much more of your own life there is to explore.

This is your reminder:

Pay attention to the conversations you repeatedly make room for. They may be shaping what you make room for in your life.

Slay on.