I used to push myself until I broke.
Whether it was exercise, my to-do list, or unrealistic expectations, I was constantly competing with myself to do more, to be more. Sure, it’s healthy to set goals, but not at the cost of your well-being. I thought pushing myself to the limit proved my worth. But it wasn’t sustainable—and it wasn’t healthy.
When You Don’t Like Yourself, You Push Too Hard
The truth was, I didn’t like myself.
I set impossible expectations and used them as a weapon against myself. I’d force myself to work out, even when sick. I’d overschedule until I was drowning. And when I couldn’t meet those unrealistic goals, I’d berate myself for failing. I never let myself rest or breathe—I was always on the go, always one step from a breakdown.
I realize now that this was my way of proving something to myself and to the world. I wanted people to see me as a superwoman who could do it all. I hoped to impress or intimidate them enough to avoid questions. But deep down, I was trapped in a toxic cycle.
Learning to Love Myself—and Find Balance
When I learned to love myself, I also learned to adjust my expectations.
I started practicing self-care, giving myself breaks, and embracing my human limitations. I realized that not completing everything on my to-do list didn’t make me a failure—it made me human. Today, I still feel frustrated when I don’t get everything done, but I’ve learned to let it go. I can always tackle it tomorrow.
Now, I focus on balance. I still juggle a lot, but I make space for flexibility. I prioritize moments with myself or someone I care about. I no longer need a completed list to feel worthy. My worth comes from listening to what I need each day, not what my ego demands.
Honor Yourself and Your Limits
Listen to yourself. Push where you want to grow, but not at the expense of your peace. Set goals and do your best—but know your best will change from day to day. The key is to put you at the top of your to-do list.
SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise
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Do you set unrealistic expectations for yourself? List three.
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What makes them unrealistic? Why do you set them?
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What can you do to make them more realistic?
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What can you do to continue setting realistic goals in your life?
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How do you react when you don’t meet a goal?
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Do you feel the need to one-up others? Why?
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Does your ego push you past your limits to exhaustion? What can you do to stop?
Self-love and self-care should always come first. The goals you reach will be sweeter because you’ll achieve them when you’re ready—not when your ego says so.
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one small step you can take today to prioritize self-care and set realistic goals?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s support each other.
And if you know someone pushing themselves too hard, send this to them.
Sometimes, the best reminder is a simple “You’re enough.”
