The holidays can bring so much joy—but they can also bring pressure, guilt, and emotional exhaustion. Too often, we show up out of obligation rather than desire. We put on a smile, check the box, and leave feeling drained. But here’s the truth: you don’t owe anyone your presence at the expense of your peace.

Early in my healing journey, I had to start asking myself a new question before saying yes to an invitation:

“Do I truly want to be there—or do I just think I should?”

I’m not talking about what society expects. I’m not talking about guilt. I’m talking about truth. Your obligation is to your well-being. Not someone’s idea of what the holidays should look like.

You Don’t Owe Anyone Your Peace

Let’s be real: taking care of yourself will make some people uncomfortable. They’ll say you’re selfish. They’ll say you’re being dramatic. And sometimes, the loudest pushback comes from the people who benefit most from your lack of boundaries.

But their comfort isn’t your job. Your mental, emotional, and spiritual health is.

How many times have we said yes when we meant no, only to spend the event feeling resentful, drained, or on the verge of a breakdown? How many times have we promised ourselves never again—only to do it again next year?

That cycle ends when you decide your peace is more important than someone else’s perception.

Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Respect

When I stay rooted in the moment and check in with myself—without spiraling into what-ifs or worrying about reactions—I stay honest. If I’m not in a good place to show up, I say so.

Sometimes I offer context. Sometimes I don’t. You’re allowed to protect your peace without explaining yourself to everyone.

Will people always understand? No. Will some talk behind your back? Maybe. But those reactions say more about them than they do about you. You’re not here to meet other people’s expectations—you’re here to protect your energy.

Your Well-Being Isn’t Up for Debate

Especially during the holidays, it’s easy to feel pulled in a dozen directions. But the best gift you can give yourself is permission—permission to check in, to say no, to leave early, to skip the party entirely if that’s what you need.

Maybe that means going for a walk instead of going to dinner. Maybe it’s choosing solitude over small talk. Or maybe it’s showing up—but doing so on your own terms.

Whatever honors your journey, your growth, your peace… do that. You deserve to move through this season in a way that aligns with your truth.

And if someone doesn’t understand? That’s okay. You’re not for everyone. But you are for you.

SLAY Reflection

1. Do you feel pressure to say yes out of obligation? Why?
2. How do you feel during and after events that don’t serve you?
3. What boundaries could you set this season to protect your peace?
4. Have you ever said no and felt empowered by that decision? What happened?
5. What might it look like to put your well-being first—just for today?

S-L-A-Y:

• Stop and ask yourself: “What do I want?”
• Let go of guilt-based decisions.
• Acknowledge when you’re acting out of obligation.
• You have permission to choose peace.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one expectation you’re ready to release this season—and how will you reclaim your peace instead?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling the pressure to show up for everyone else, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder.