When I was living the dark I thought all my problems were there to stay. It never occurred to me that I could make the best decision with the information I had and move on, I, typically would ignore the problem for as long as possible, hoping it would magically disappear, then get so anxious about it that I would make a rash decision, that may have permanent results to quite possibly a temporary problem. My decision process was restricted to the two tools I had, fight or flight, and those tools typically made more problems than they solved. Had I thought things through back then, and dealt with issues in the moment, rather than waiting, I probably wouldn’t have had to try to fix the solutions I had rushed into, trying to undo the damage I may have done.
I often felt overwhelmed by life as it was, so when an issue or problem came along it overwhelmed me. But instead of taking things on as they came I would wait, avoid it, hope it went away, and when it didn’t, they rarely do, I felt like my back was up against the wall, and sometimes it was, and I would make whatever decision made it go away the fastest, even if that was not the best decision. As a result my solutions often closed doors for me, ended friendships and kept me isolated and feeling alone. When I began my journey in recovery I was told to live life on life’s terms, and to address things as they came up. That didn’t sound like fun, but, if I was being honest, avoiding them wasn’t all that fun either because I knew they were still there and each day I ignored them I knew they were just getting worse. So, I tried the new approach of addressing them and being honest about them. That did spike my anxiety to start, but the more I did it the more it felt freeing, to take something, look at my options, maybe ask for some suggestions if I was struggling with a solution, and then make the best decision in the moment and letting it go. Letting it go. Even typing that I let out a big exhale.
When we address a problem as it comes up, or as soon as we can, look at the facts and our options, and then take the action required, we are able to make sound decisions for ourselves, we don’t panic, we don’t hit the “f” it button and we don’t make choices that could have permanent results and we may regret later. Often those big problems we let sit and try to avoid were never really that big to begin with, we just let them sit too long and they ballooned up from a manageable problem to a big problem, and, because we’ve waited we may have also forced our hand to make a permanent solution when a temporary one would have worked if we had addressed it at the right time.
During this already challenging times it may seem like taking on any more problems are too much to handle, but putting them off or choosing to act on the fastest solution may end up in regret later. Do what’s right, take care of what you need to handle and then let it go, if you’ve done the best you could there’s no need to worry about what else you could have done. Don’t cheat yourself by choosing the wrong solution. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to leave or ignore something until it becomes a bigger problem? What is the result of that? How does that make you feel? What can you do to change that? What did you choose to do that resulted in a permanent solution to a temporary problem? Where you able to make that right? What did you do? What can you do moving forward to make sure you’re taking the right action with your problems? When we tackle each problem as it comes we are honoring ourselves by not putting undue stress on our lives by not acknowledging what needs to be done. Do what’s right in the moment and move on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you