SelfLove

You Can’t Open A Flower With A Sledgehammer

I mean, technically you can—but it won’t be pretty.

That’s true for life too. We can force things, try to speed them up, or push them into place. But more often than not, we end up destroying what could have been something beautiful by trying to control everything.

I spent so much of my life doing just that. Forcing. Pushing. Demanding. Always expecting a different result. That’s the very definition of insanity, right? It wasn’t until I learned to let go, to stop trying to force life to move on my schedule, that I started to see things bloom naturally.

Letting Go of Control

Learning to let things unfold in their own time was not easy. Just thinking about letting go of control used to make my anxiety spike. But here’s the truth: I was never really in control. I only thought I was. And realizing that—finally—was liberating.

I had always been a bit of a bull in a china shop, diving into situations without a plan and then trying to figure it all out on the fly. If I thought of life as a delicate flower, it reminded me to be gentle, to pause, and to let it open on its own.

It’s not about doing nothing—it’s about doing the footwork and then stepping back. My old fear-based thinking had me believing that I needed to control everything to keep the fear at bay. But in reality, trying to control made the fear grow stronger. Letting go, breathing, and trusting the process helped ease the anxiety and made space for the right things to happen.

The Sledgehammer Mentality

We all have wants, desires, and goals. But coming at them swinging a sledgehammer won’t get us any closer. It usually pushes them further away.

It’s easy to forget that everyone else has their own wants and needs too. And maybe, just maybe, what we think we want isn’t what’s actually best for us. Sometimes, when we loosen our grip a little, life brings us something even better than what we were trying to force into place.

So the next time you feel yourself reaching for the metaphorical sledgehammer, take a breath. Step back. Let life unfold. You might just be surprised at what blossoms.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY

Do you tend to force things to happen or do you let things unfold as they will?
Do you come at life like a bull or do you take the time to investigate and thoughtfully move through life?
If not, what can you do to slow down and look at things instead of just charging for the finish line?
Give an example when you used a sledgehammer in a situation and it backfired.
Give an example when you backed off a little and things went smoothly.
What was different about the time you backed off over the time you used a sledgehammer?
Why do you sometimes take out a sledgehammer instead of letting things unfold in their own time?
Forcing our way usually doesn’t give us the results we want, and even if we do get them, often we stomp on someone else to make it happen.
So why not put the sledgehammer down, do what you can, and stay out of the way of the results? You may be pleasantly surprised at what happens next.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
When was the last time you tried to force something and it backfired? When did you let go, and it worked out beautifully?
Share your stories in the comments. Let’s support each other in learning to put down the sledgehammer.
And if you know someone who needs this reminder, share it with them.
We grow by learning—and letting go—together.

You Can Start Your Day Over At Any Time

Even when we wake up with the best intentions—determined not to let the world, our own mood, or the actions of others throw us off course—things can still derail. Maybe a negative thought creeps in, or an unexpected challenge throws us for a loop, and just like that, our good day starts spiraling. It’s easy to let it snowball into frustration or defeat.

But here’s the thing: we always have the power to reset.
No matter how far off track things feel, we can hit pause, regroup, and start fresh.

I like to joke that when technology stops working, my go-to solution is to “plug it out.” Unplugging and reconnecting works wonders for electronics—and it works for us too. When in doubt, take a deep breath, step back, and give yourself a fresh start.

From All or Nothing to Progress Over Perfection

When I was living in the dark, I was trapped by an all-or-nothing mindset. I’d start my day determined to be positive, but as soon as something went wrong—or as soon as negative thoughts piled up—I’d throw in the towel. One setback, and I’d tell myself the whole day was ruined.

What I didn’t realize was that I was giving away my power. My day didn’t have to be derailed just because I’d made a mistake or things weren’t perfect. When I began to embrace this path of growth and self-love, I learned to see each setback as an opportunity to learn.

Instead of beating myself up, I’d ask: What can I do differently next time?
I practiced gratitude, wrote down positive affirmations, and even carried a list of things I was thankful for in my pocket to remind me that I could always choose to see things differently. And when all else failed, I’d reach out to help someone else—because getting out of my own head and being of service always helped me reset.

A Reset is Always Within Reach

It’s easy to let a bad moment hijack our whole day. But we don’t have to let it.
We have the power to stop, breathe, and start over at any moment.

You are not a victim of your thoughts or circumstances.
You are not bound by your old patterns.
You can choose—again and again—to turn things around.

Remember, every day is a new chance, and every moment is an opportunity to begin again.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY

Do you give yourself a restart when your day takes you off course?
Or do you let it pull you down?
How long do you stay stuck? Why?
What stories do you tell yourself about deserving to stay down?
Have you found ways to restart your day? What are they?
When you hit the restart button, what message are you sending yourself?
It’s okay to mess up or feel frustrated—but what matters is what you choose to do next.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
When was the last time you gave yourself permission to restart your day? How did it feel?
Share your experience in the comments below. Let’s lift each other up with stories of resilience and reset.
And if you know someone who could use this reminder, send this blog their way.
We rise by lifting each other.