MindfulLiving

We’re Not Responsible For Our Thoughts But We Are Responsible For What We Give Light

When I first started walking this path, I used to beat myself up for the negative or old thoughts that crept into my mind. I thought I was failing somehow by still thinking them. But what I’ve come to learn—and remind myself of every day—is this: we’re not responsible for the thoughts that arise. We’re responsible for what we nurture, for what we choose to give light.

Negative thoughts will come and go. They always do. But judging ourselves for them only feeds the darkness.

A Journey of “Yes” and the Cloud Analogy

Early in this journey, I made a promise to myself: say “yes” to new ways of thinking. The old ways—the clinging, the control—weren’t working. I even signed up for a meditation class, hoping for relief from the noise in my head.

I’ll never forget that first class. As we settled into silence, a garbage truck began backing up outside. Beep, beep, beep. Instantly, frustration bubbled up in me. How dare this truck interrupt my serenity!

But the instructor’s voice broke through: “Acknowledge the sound. Let it go. Like a cloud moving across the sky.”

That image stuck with me. Over time, I learned to acknowledge the intrusive thoughts, ask if they served me, and then—let them drift away.

Thoughts Are Just Thoughts—Until We Give Them Power

We can’t control what we think. But we can control what we dwell on, what we give voice and weight to. Negative thinking doesn’t make us bad or broken—it makes us human.

What matters is what we do next. Will we cling to those thoughts and let them spiral us down? Or will we choose to counter them with something positive? Something we’re grateful for?

When I catch myself spiraling, I remember the cloud analogy. I visualize those thoughts floating away. I remind myself that I have the power to choose what I give light to.

SLAY OF THE DAY

Do you catch yourself judging your negative thoughts?
What’s the result?
How can you shift that judgment into curiosity or self-compassion?
What triggers those thoughts—and what might they be trying to tell you?
Can you counter them with gratitude or a positive affirmation?
Remember, it’s not about silencing every negative thought. It’s about not giving them the spotlight. Choose what serves you, and let the rest drift by.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
How do you handle negative thinking? What helps you shift from judgment to self-compassion?
Share your story in the comments below. Let’s lift each other up with real, honest conversations about our inner worlds.
And if you know someone who needs this message today—send it their way. We’re in this together.

Selfishness Leads To Suffering

We all want peace, fulfillment, and connection—but we can’t get there by putting ourselves first at the expense of others. I learned this the hard way.

When Selfishness Masquerades as Selflessness

Selfishness, by definition, is lacking consideration for others—being concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure. When I was living in my illness, I often operated from a selfish place, though I wouldn’t have admitted it. In fact, I convinced myself I was doing others a favor. But my motives were always self-serving, even if I masked them in acts of kindness. And when we act with impure intentions, even if we get what we wanted, it rarely feels good for long.

The truth? That kind of gratification is short-lived. It may look shiny on the outside, but the emptiness we feel afterward speaks volumes. Selfishness, no matter how cleverly disguised, leads to suffering. For me, it did—over and over again.

Getting Honest with Myself

The moment I decided to get help was the moment I was told I had to get honest—with others and with myself. That sent me into a full-blown anxiety spiral. Honesty meant confronting the wreckage I had left behind, facing the truth that much of my pain was self-inflicted.

But as I began doing the work, I realized something: by identifying where I had been selfish, I could finally stop carrying the weight of guilt and shame. I could make amends—sometimes directly, and sometimes through my actions moving forward. The idea of a “living amends” helped me break free from the belief that I was doomed to repeat my mistakes.

We’re only doomed to repeat what we refuse to acknowledge.

The Power of Motivation

One of the most valuable tools I’ve gained over the last 14 years is asking myself, What’s your motivation? Before I act, I pause. If I’m doing something with even a sliver of expectation, I check myself.

Real kindness, real service, comes with no strings attached. When our actions are rooted in the desire to simply do what’s right—or to make someone’s day a little brighter—we find peace. But when we act from a place of ego, validation-seeking, or self-interest, suffering follows.

That doesn’t mean every decision must be self-sacrificing. It means our actions should come from truth. When you’re honest about your intentions, you create room for growth, peace, and real connection.

You Don’t Have to Be Perfect—Just Honest

Even now, I sometimes catch myself slipping into old patterns. That’s okay. Awareness is everything. The difference today is that I know how to pause, reassess, and choose a different path. I don’t pretend I have it all figured out. I just stay willing to learn—and that willingness keeps me free.

We all have the capacity to reflect, correct, and grow. The work isn’t about perfection. It’s about integrity. When your heart is in the right place, it shows.

And when we each commit to doing what’s right—not just for ourselves, but for those around us—we rise. Together.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What typically motivates your actions—selfless intention or personal gain?
  2. Have you ever justified a selfish act as something noble? How did that affect you?
  3. Can you recall a time when you acted with pure intention and it brought unexpected peace?
  4. What steps can you take to check your motives before making a decision?
  5. Are there areas in your life where you can practice more self-awareness and accountability?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Start being honest about your intentions.
  • Let go of manipulative patterns masked as kindness.
  • Act with integrity, even when no one’s watching.
  • You are worthy of peace—and it starts with truth.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What helps you check your motives before taking action?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s working on self-awareness and growth, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.