There are so many things in life we have no control over.
But one thing we always have control over is how we react.
Before I started this journey, I didn’t believe that. I saw life as something that was constantly happening to me. I felt like I was always on the wrong side of good—piled under problems that felt too big, too unfair, and way too overwhelming to change.
What I couldn’t see at the time was that many of those problems were the result of my own choices.
And even when I wasn’t in control of what happened, I had still made a choice somewhere along the line—choosing the person, the situation, or the behavior that led me there.
It was easier to blame someone else.
But the truth? The finger I was pointing should’ve been aimed right back at me.
The Power of Radical Responsibility
When I finally got honest with myself—rigorously honest—I had to take a hard look at my role in the chaos.
And it was tough.
It’s not easy to admit that you’ve been the architect of your own pain.
But with that realization came something surprising: freedom.
Because if I was the one who got myself into it…
I could be the one to get myself out.
Owning my choices gave me power.
And from there, I could start making better ones.
Every Situation Is a Choice Point
We don’t get to control what life throws at us.
But we do get to choose how we respond.
Sometimes the best reaction is not reacting at all.
Sometimes it’s walking away.
Sometimes it’s taking a breath and choosing to show up in a way that honors your values—not your emotions in the moment.
That’s how we reclaim our power.
Even in the hardest moments, we are not powerless when we’re clear on what’s best for us—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
We always have a choice.
And that choice becomes the difference between staying in the problem and moving toward the solution.
The Problem vs. The Solution
When I started to shift my mindset this way, life got easier.
That’s not to say I never get frustrated or upset—of course I do. But now I ask myself:
- Did I invite this in?
- Can I disinvite it now?
- What choice will move me forward instead of keeping me stuck?
That’s what it means to get into the solution.
Because staying in the problem only creates more problems.
But the solution?
That’s where problems go to die.
Clearing the Path Forward
I’ve learned that when I make decisions from a place that aligns with who I am—and who I’m becoming—I stop visiting the places that pull me back into chaos.
I stop letting problems define me.
I stop reacting from fear or ego.
And I start creating space for new energy, new opportunities, and new peace to enter my life.
So when the next problem pops up—and it will—ask yourself:
What’s the right reaction… for me?
That answer will always lead you toward your highest good.
SLAY Reflection: What’s Your Reaction Telling You?
- Do you let problems define your mood or your day?
How often are you reacting instead of responding? - How many of your current problems are tied to past choices?
What patterns can you begin to shift? - What small choices can you make today to create fewer problems tomorrow?
Where can you be more intentional? - How can you take your power back in difficult situations?
What boundaries or truths are you avoiding? - What does the “right reaction” look like for you?
Is it silence, compassion, honesty, or stepping away?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one situation or relationship where choosing not to engage helped you protect your energy?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.And if you know someone who’s caught in a cycle of reacting or proving their point, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
