InnerWork

Looking Through Different Eyes

Before walking this path, I thought I knew everything—or at least better than most. I saw the world through judgmental eyes, convinced that everyone else was doing it wrong. It was easier to judge than to look inward, easier to point fingers than to take responsibility. My ego told me I was smarter, better, but deep down, I was just trying to cover the emptiness I felt inside—the fear that I wasn’t enough.

That judgment kept me blind. It limited what I was willing to see and locked me into a narrow, self-protective perspective.

Choosing Teachability Over Ego

I’ve shared before that it’s vital for me to stay teachable. It took a long time—and a lot of pain—for me to admit that I don’t know everything, that my stubbornness and ego hurt me more than anyone else ever could. Staying open-minded isn’t just a nice idea; it’s essential for my growth and healing.

When I close myself off, I shut down new ideas, new perspectives, and the chance to improve. This path of recovery and growth doesn’t end with a graduation or certificate. It’s a lifelong journey of becoming, of learning, and of serving.

Being of service means setting aside ego. It means being open to seeing things as they are, not just as I want them to be. When I was stuck in my old patterns, I didn’t care about helping others unless it benefited me. But recovery taught me that my growth and healing are deeply tied to my ability to support and lift others up.

Seeing Beyond Our Own Perspective

We all come from different places, with different life experiences. It’s natural to have a perspective shaped by our journey, but if we only see the world through our own lens, we miss the full picture.

When we stay stuck in our assumptions—what we think we know—we stunt our growth. But when we leave space for discovery, for the possibility that we might not know everything, we create room for connection, understanding, and freedom.

That space in between? It’s where transformation happens.

SLAY OF THE DAY

Do you usually assume you know the truth without investigating?
How has that approach worked—or not worked—for you?
Think of a time when you discovered the reality wasn’t what you thought. What did you learn?
Are you open to continuing to learn from others, even when it’s uncomfortable?
How do you feel when others make false assumptions about you? Remember, it feels the same when we do it to others.
Leave space to grow. Leave space to see.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
How do you keep yourself open to learning and growth? What helps you shift from judgment to curiosity?
Share your thoughts in the comments and let’s lift each other up.
And if you know someone who could use this message, share it with them. Together, we can break free from assumptions and open our eyes to new possibilities.

Selfishness Leads To Suffering

We all want peace, fulfillment, and connection—but we can’t get there by putting ourselves first at the expense of others. I learned this the hard way.

When Selfishness Masquerades as Selflessness

Selfishness, by definition, is lacking consideration for others—being concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure. When I was living in my illness, I often operated from a selfish place, though I wouldn’t have admitted it. In fact, I convinced myself I was doing others a favor. But my motives were always self-serving, even if I masked them in acts of kindness. And when we act with impure intentions, even if we get what we wanted, it rarely feels good for long.

The truth? That kind of gratification is short-lived. It may look shiny on the outside, but the emptiness we feel afterward speaks volumes. Selfishness, no matter how cleverly disguised, leads to suffering. For me, it did—over and over again.

Getting Honest with Myself

The moment I decided to get help was the moment I was told I had to get honest—with others and with myself. That sent me into a full-blown anxiety spiral. Honesty meant confronting the wreckage I had left behind, facing the truth that much of my pain was self-inflicted.

But as I began doing the work, I realized something: by identifying where I had been selfish, I could finally stop carrying the weight of guilt and shame. I could make amends—sometimes directly, and sometimes through my actions moving forward. The idea of a “living amends” helped me break free from the belief that I was doomed to repeat my mistakes.

We’re only doomed to repeat what we refuse to acknowledge.

The Power of Motivation

One of the most valuable tools I’ve gained over the last 14 years is asking myself, What’s your motivation? Before I act, I pause. If I’m doing something with even a sliver of expectation, I check myself.

Real kindness, real service, comes with no strings attached. When our actions are rooted in the desire to simply do what’s right—or to make someone’s day a little brighter—we find peace. But when we act from a place of ego, validation-seeking, or self-interest, suffering follows.

That doesn’t mean every decision must be self-sacrificing. It means our actions should come from truth. When you’re honest about your intentions, you create room for growth, peace, and real connection.

You Don’t Have to Be Perfect—Just Honest

Even now, I sometimes catch myself slipping into old patterns. That’s okay. Awareness is everything. The difference today is that I know how to pause, reassess, and choose a different path. I don’t pretend I have it all figured out. I just stay willing to learn—and that willingness keeps me free.

We all have the capacity to reflect, correct, and grow. The work isn’t about perfection. It’s about integrity. When your heart is in the right place, it shows.

And when we each commit to doing what’s right—not just for ourselves, but for those around us—we rise. Together.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What typically motivates your actions—selfless intention or personal gain?
  2. Have you ever justified a selfish act as something noble? How did that affect you?
  3. Can you recall a time when you acted with pure intention and it brought unexpected peace?
  4. What steps can you take to check your motives before making a decision?
  5. Are there areas in your life where you can practice more self-awareness and accountability?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Start being honest about your intentions.
  • Let go of manipulative patterns masked as kindness.
  • Act with integrity, even when no one’s watching.
  • You are worthy of peace—and it starts with truth.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What helps you check your motives before taking action?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s working on self-awareness and growth, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.