Easier said than done, right?
Especially now.
It feels like everything—from the world at large to our daily lives—is spiraling beyond our control.
And it’s true: most of life really is outside of our hands.
No matter how hard we try to will something into existence or change an outcome, some things just are.
But here’s the truth I’ve come to live by:
I may not be able to control what happens around me—but I can control how I respond to it.
And that’s where the power is.
The Illusion of Control
When I was living in the dark, I was consumed by control.
Trying to manage everything and everyone.
Manipulating, bargaining, obsessing—believing that if I could just control the situation, I could finally feel safe.
But no matter how hard I tried, life had other plans.
It didn’t care how hard I worked to bend it to my will.
And I exhausted myself trying.
The more I tried to control, the more unmanageable everything became.
It didn’t just wear me out—it wore me down.
My mental health suffered.
My self-worth took a hit.
And I lost myself in the process.
Letting Go Was the Turning Point
When I finally made the decision to change my life, I was told something that made me flinch:
“You have to accept that you can’t control everything.”
That one sentence lit up every fear I had.
I didn’t want to hear it.
But I needed to.
Because as terrifying as letting go felt, holding on was doing more damage.
So I started small.
I worked on myself.
I practiced gratitude.
I focused on the good.
And I gave back where I could.
Slowly, the need to control started to loosen its grip.
And I began to feel something I hadn’t felt in a long time: peace.
The Freedom in Acceptance
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up.
It means accepting reality as it is—and choosing to move forward anyway.
It means doing what you can, where you are, with what you have.
It means focusing on your choices, your behavior, your energy—not the chaos around you.
And when you feel that old need for control creeping in?
Put the focus back on yourself.
Or do something kind for someone else.
It’s a powerful reset.
Because the truth is, trying to control what’s out of your hands only ends up controlling you.
What I Can Do Today
There are still plenty of things I can’t control—and many of them deeply disturb me.
But I’ve learned that obsessing over what I can’t change doesn’t help.
What does help?
Doing what I can.
I show up for myself.
I show up for others.
I make better choices.
And I leave the rest.
Because acceptance isn’t giving up—it’s breaking free.
SLAY Reflection: Where Are You Holding On Too Tight?
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Do you stress over things that are out of your control?
What are they—and how do they affect your peace? -
How has your need for control shaped your relationships, habits, or mental health?
What patterns do you see? -
What’s one area of your life where you could let go a little more today?
How would that feel? -
What are you really afraid of when you try to control everything?
Is it fear of failure? Rejection? Uncertainty? -
What would shift if you focused on your response, rather than the outcome?
Where can you put your energy to use in a healthier way?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’re ready to stop stressing over because you’ve realized it’s out of your control?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s stuck in the loop of control and frustration, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
