We all have a past. We all have pain. But some of us don’t just carry it—we perform it. Over and over. Like a monologue we’ve rehearsed so well, it becomes our identity. If that sounds familiar, you might be starring in what I call your junkologue.

It’s that loop where you retell the same stories of pain, betrayal, and hardship—not to heal, but to get a reaction. Maybe it’s sympathy. Maybe it’s validation. Maybe it’s just to be seen. But here’s the thing: living in your junk keeps you from living in your truth.

Are You Telling It or Reliving It?

There’s a difference between sharing your story and clinging to it. We often convince ourselves we’re “working through” something when in reality, we’re rehashing it to stay stuck.

Before I found the courage to get help, I was the lead in my junkologue. I told my tales of pain like war stories—always the victim, never the villain. I’d exaggerate to gain sympathy or manipulate situations to my advantage. It wasn’t humility. It was a form of emotional exhibitionism—a way to keep myself small while trying to feel important.

I told myself I was being vulnerable. But I wasn’t. I was addicted to the attention my wounds gave me. And the people who stuck around? They were often stuck in their own junk too. Misery doesn’t just love company—it curates it.

The Shift From Performance to Purpose

Everything changed when I started asking the hard questions: Why am I telling this story? What am I hoping to gain? Am I using it to inspire—or to indulge?

That’s when I discovered what true humility really meant. It wasn’t putting myself down publicly for applause. It was being honest about my part in the story. It was making amends, not just confessions.

Now, if I share a piece of my past, it’s with purpose—to support, connect, or guide. Not to center myself in pain, but to show what healing looks like.

Your junkologue doesn’t have to be your identity. It can be your origin story—but only if you let yourself grow beyond it.

What’s Your Motivation?

Your story is powerful. But ask yourself: Are you using it to heal—or to hide?

• Are you sharing to connect, or to compete?
• Are you expressing yourself, or performing a role?
• Are you owning your part—or just retelling how others hurt you?

If you’re constantly the victim in every version of your story, it might be time to zoom out. See your patterns. See your choices. See your growth.

Because you are not your worst moments. You are not your junk. You are who you decide to become next.

Being a SLAYER Means Owning the Mic With Intention

We’ve all survived things. But survival isn’t the goal—thriving is.

So the next time you feel the urge to share your junkologue, pause. Ask yourself: Is this for healing, or habit? Is this story helping me evolve—or keeping me stuck?

When we tell our stories with ownership, honesty, and heart, they lift us—and those listening. When we tell them for attention or control, they keep us in the shadows.

You get to choose which version you tell. And more importantly—you get to choose what comes next.

Step out of your junkologue, and into your power. That’s how we Slay.

SLAY Reflection

1. Do you tend to repeat certain stories from your past? Why?
2. How do you feel during and after sharing those stories?
3. What are you hoping others will give you when you share them?
4. Are you honest about your part in those stories?
5. What could shift if you reframed your story as a source of strength, not pain?

S-L-A-Y:

• Share with purpose, not pity
• Let go of old narratives that no longer serve
• Acknowledge your part and your progress
• You control the next chapter of your story

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Do you ever catch yourself performing your junkologue? What helps you shift into healing mode instead?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in the loop of their old story, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.