It takes courage to chase your dreams. To put yourself out there. To share your truth with the world, especially when that truth has been born from your soul. It’s vulnerable work. So naturally, we hope the people who love us will show up to support us.
But sometimes, they don’t.
And instead of encouragement, we get fear. Not our own—theirs. Projected through criticism, sarcasm, or silence. It can come from the people we least expect, and it can sting the most when it does. Their fear may show up as jealousy, pessimism, or even ultimatums. And suddenly, your moment of growth becomes a moment of conflict. One you never asked for.
Their Fear Is Not Yours to Carry
It’s important to remember: you are not responsible for making others comfortable with your growth.
You are not responsible for shrinking so someone else can feel tall.
We all carry our own insecurities, and when someone projects theirs onto you, it often has more to do with their inner struggle than with anything you’re doing wrong. You are not doing anything wrong by growing, dreaming big, or stepping into your light. In fact, you’re doing something incredibly right.
People who truly love you will want to see you win. Even if they don’t fully understand your path, they’ll respect that it’s yours. And they’ll support you because they care about your joy. If they can’t do that, then it may be time to lovingly step back and re-evaluate who gets to be in your inner circle.
The Subtle Ways Fear Shows Up
Not all fear looks like yelling or outright criticism. Sometimes it comes quietly:
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The sarcastic comment
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The deflating look
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The unreturned text on a day that mattered to you
These passive reactions are just as powerful. And just as hurtful. Because they take up emotional space that you could be using to build, to dream, to thrive. When you’re busy decoding someone else’s discomfort, you lose time and energy that could be spent fulfilling your purpose.
And here’s the truth: people who inject fear or discouragement into your life when you are rising are not trying to protect you. They are trying to keep themselves from feeling left behind.
Let Yourself Rise Anyway
Your job is not to manage someone else’s emotions. Your job is to rise. To shine. To step into your purpose even when it makes others uncomfortable. You can do this with compassion, but you must also do it with conviction.
We rise by lifting others. But if someone refuses to rise with you, that’s not your fault. Let your light shine anyway. You never know who might see your light and be inspired to find their own.
SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise
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Do you feel guilty when you succeed and others don’t?
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Have you experienced people trying to discourage you from pursuing your goals?
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Why do you think their fear shows up when you shine?
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Have you ever dimmed your light to make someone else feel better?
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What can you do to protect your peace and keep moving forward?
You don’t need to carry someone else’s fear. Let them work through it. Your job is to keep going.
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ve protected your light from someone else’s fear?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s struggling to rise because others are trying to hold them back, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is to be reminded we’re allowed to shine.
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“Many times we walk on new ground to get to a place we’ve never been and that leaves us feeling vulnerable. We would think that those around us, those who love us, would be there to support and cheer us on, but that is not always the case. Sometimes, even from the most unexpected sources, we don’t get that support, what we get is a projection of their own fears as they try to discourage us, or even tear apart what we’ve worked so hard for.” (C.G.)
This, right there – this is one of the big millstones around my neck. I have often listened to people around me the moment I share my dreams and they tell me why I could not possibly do something. The moment I share them my thoughts or my dreams – there is often a silence suggesting: “Yeah, right – you’ll never get there, you’re too lazy and too easily distracted to make it.” Someone in my youth may have planted that negative seed in my head out of their own insecurities. Over the years between me and those around me – that seed grew into a negative tape that seems to wrap itself around me every day.
I wanted to go to school to get a degree in Development Studies – something I could use to work Internationally and abroad. I had dreams of using that degree coupled with getting a TESL certificate so that I could teach overseas, travel, explore the world, do things with my life. However – by the fourth month of school – the discouraging tape I had heard over the years rang loud and clear. I quit school and fell into debt because I couldn’t finish what I began. It’s a bad pattern I found. I thought I could do something only to find myself unable to do so.
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But you are able to do it, you just have to allow yourself to do it, and when that negative tape, or people, chime in, thank them for their comments and then hit DELETE! Challenge yourself each day with things you will show yourself you can do it, and deserve to do it. As you accomplish each one , those voices will get quieter as you prove to yourself that yes you can, and yes you will! SLAY on!
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