Does the thought of your life being calm, quiet, and drama-free make your skin crawl? Does it send a chill down your spine? Does a stress-free existence sound like a four-letter word?
You may be addicted to excitement.

For many people, the idea of living a peaceful life is so repelling or frightening they create problems and chaos to feel alive—but at what cost?

It’s common for those who have lived in an unpredictable environment to continue creating unpredictability after they’ve left it. They mimic the feelings of their past and link them to the feeling of being alive because that’s what they’ve known. It can also stem from low self-esteem and ego running wild—that nasty combo I know all too well from my own past.

That feeling of not deserving the good, of the good never being enough. A vicious cycle of damage, adding unnecessary wreckage, and a constant desire to find the next big thing worthy of unrealistic expectations. But here’s the truth: it’s doing ourselves harm, or putting a band-aid over a wound that can’t be healed by outside things. That wound will never heal because we never allow it to—it’s what we’ve chosen to give us purpose. And without it, what would our purpose be?

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Redefining Purpose

What if we made our purpose living a life full of love and beautiful, healthy things? And by beautiful, healthy things, I mean those that are right for us—not what our family, friends, or colleagues think they should be. We get to decide.

It took work for me to find a way to be comfortable without drama or a “big” adrenaline rush. I thought I needed it to feel alive—an event, shopping spree, a night out, or just being part of something. But what I didn’t realize was I needed to feel a part of my own life, and I didn’t.

I felt like life was a runaway train, and I didn’t even have a ticket. Even when it slowed enough for me to catch up, I was left standing on the platform, suitcase in hand, watching it leave again. I didn’t know where the train was going—I just wanted to escape myself and the messes I’d created trying to feel purpose or that rush of excitement.

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Linking Fear to Excitement

Many of us link fear to excitement. Creating circumstances that trigger fear gives us that same rush, that jolt we associate with being alive.
We procrastinate to feel stress, pick unhealthy relationships, lie, cheat, or steal—not because of poor decisions but because we’re looking for that “hit” of excitement. Some even put themselves in dangerous situations to feed this addiction.

But it doesn’t serve us. It doesn’t help us. Ultimately, it damages our lives.

The first step to finding a healthier way to live is to identify what we’re doing—and why. Often it’s rooted in abandonment issues, growing up in chaotic homes, or our own past struggles. Whatever the source, once you’ve named it, you can start making healthier choices.

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Practicing Contrary Action

For me, it took a lot of contrary action. Doing the opposite of what I wanted—or had been doing. Learning to be comfortable in the discomfort of not feeding off drama. Breathing through the moments when I wanted to stir things up, create trouble, or plan an escape. Learning just to be.

And to trust and love myself, accepting that I was enough.

Yes, it’s wonderful to have things to look forward to. But not when they replace living your life or fill a void that’s really an inside job. Only you can fill that void—and it won’t come from outside things.

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SLAY OF THE DAY:

• Do you feel like your life has no meaning without drama or excitement?

• If you removed those things, what would you be left with?

• How could you fill your life up without using those distractions?

• What are more loving ways you could nourish yourself?

• What can you work on within yourself to feel less alone, abandoned, or left out?

• Really look at your life—what do you have, and who are you?

• What do you know to be true?

Start building from there. If there are things you don’t like, change them—but change them for you. Make changes that honor and show yourself that you love yourself. That you will never abandon you.

SLAY on.

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Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever caught yourself creating drama or chasing excitement just to feel alive?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s ready to embrace calm and break free from chaos, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.