As a young girl, I always felt different. Less than. Awkward.
I’d watch the other kids at school interact, play, and participate so effortlessly — while for me, it was always difficult. Every social moment felt like a challenge, riddled with anxiety. What I didn’t understand back then was that it wasn’t about them. It was because I was deeply uncomfortable in my own skin.

I didn’t believe I was as talented, as pretty, or as smart as the other kids. And I was convinced that if anyone saw the real me, they’d figure that out quickly and leave me behind. So, I kept my distance. It felt safer not to engage.

That’s what I thought.
On a bad day, I still think that way.
But thankfully, there aren’t too many of those days anymore.

Ironically, I pursued what might seem like the worst career choice for someone with those thoughts: acting.
But for me, it was an opportunity — to get out, to see the world, and, most importantly, to be someone else. I found acting in high school, and it became my safe space. On stage or in front of a camera, I could leave my anxiety behind and step into a character. After all, I’d been acting my whole life — pretending to be who I thought you wanted me to be. So why not get paid for it?

And it worked. For a while.

But eventually, I couldn’t outrun the negative voices in my head.
They caught up with me.
I hit bottom — physically, emotionally, spiritually.
It brought me to my knees.
But it also brought me to a place of humility where I could finally ask for help.
That’s when the healing began.

Healing isn’t a finish line. It’s an everyday practice.
I continue to heal. And I hope you do too.

That’s why I created State Of Slay™ — a safe place to encourage one another, to share our experiences, and to offer hope and strength to those who need it. I don’t perform to hide from who I am anymore. Sure, there are days when it’s still fun to slip into someone else’s life — but I’ve learned there’s far more power in sharing my story. In tearing down the perfect images we see online. In having real conversations about struggles, growth, and healing.

This is a space to get messy.
A place to learn to be comfortable in our discomfort.
A place to let the walls down.

I believe we’re here to help each other. To share in our common experiences. To see that we have more in common than not.

I invite you to focus on what connects us, not what divides us.
Share your thoughts and stories with me — as I will with you.

Together, we’ll create a ripple of positive change.
Because instead of walking through life weighed down by depression, anxiety, or self-doubt, we’ll walk tall — in a STATE OF SLAY™.

You can also visit me at carriegenzel.com.

— Carrie Genzel