We all go through life wanting the people, places and things around us to do certain things, certain things in our favor, but many times we place the conditions of our wellness on things going our way and when they don’t we become unhinged or lost, it is not up to the world to adjust to us, it is up to us to accept that people have their own free will, as do you.
This all comes under the issues of control and acceptance. My life used to be completely unmanageable based on my own sickness and the choices I was making, and because I felt out of control I tried to control the people, places and things around me, an impossible task. There is no way we can control what is going outside of ourselves, but we can control our actions and reactions to the outside world. Placing your own mental health in the hands in others’ actions is foolish, and, passing the buck when it comes to your own responsibility to yourself. It is up to each of us to practice self-care and self-love and take responsibility for what we say and do, it is also our responsibility to find acceptance for those things we cannot change or it will eat us alive.
When I am disturbed I ask myself what I can do to take action, and that action starts inward and then moves outward if there is positive action I can take to change or better a situation, but if I haven’t done the work on myself, that outward action I may choose to take may get warped through my own wants and not be what’s true or right in the situation. It’s important to always look at the facts, your own, and the ones around you, and often from multiple reliable sources before jumping to conclusions and in action with misguided information, this is when the power of the pause comes in very handy, and gives us time to settle our feelings and look at the truth of what may be going on. No one else’s actions can affect us unless we allow them to, and if they do, many times it’s because someone or something is acting in a way that does not suit you. We have to learn to be OK no matter what is going on around us, to find our peace and foundation to stand on while things may be changing. Change is always uncomfortable at first, and can make us feel uncertain, even fearful, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad, and what may be changing for you may be a better change for most, we have to consider that we are part of a larger community, or the human race, and what our exact wants and needs may be may very well be not what’s best for all of us as a whole, a tough one to swallow sometimes, that we are not the center of the universe.
We are responsible for giving ourselves what we need to be OK, give no one else that responsibility as you are only waiting for misery. Find your peace within, what satisfies you, inspires you or makes you feel whole, when you find that place, what others’ may be saying and doing becomes less important to your peace of mind or safety, and may open your eyes and ears to what is around you, opening the door to learning and loving more. Find your OK without giving that power to others. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you need others to do and say what you want to feel OK? How so? Give examples. Why? Where do you think this comes from? How does it harm you? How can you let go of this need and find OK within yourself? How successful have you been at trying to control others? How has that pursuit harmed you or gotten in your way of happiness? Do you have a hard time finding acceptance? Why? How do you feel when someone finds it with you? Work to let go of what you think you need to be OK and find it for yourself, then, no matter what may be going on around you, you’re still OK.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you