I’ve written before about pausing when the answers aren’t there, about focusing on something else and not trying to force a solution or answer when it doesn’t seem to be there in the moment. Many times we want things to happen on our timeline, and it seems, most of the time, they do not, so trying to force something into being when it’s not ready or not meant to be only creates frustration, anger and resentment on our part when there is an easier softer way. It can be challenging to walk away when the answers aren’t there. As someone a former, self-described, control freak, I know how difficult it can be to come up empty when you just want to move on. But what I’ve learned on my journey is that many times I am not meant to know or come up with a solution at that time, and, I can live myself into the answer.
I know this to be true in my life, when I look for the answers, when I ask for help and direction, it comes. It may not come in that exact moment, but it will when it’s meant to, and, when I’m truly ready for it. Our lives are a connected series of events, lessons, experiences and challenges that lead us to where we are meant to be and where we are most useful, to ourselves, and others. We don’t always follow the queues, and we always have freedom of choice to do as we wish, but the road map is there if we look for it and follow what is set in front of us. And, life can, and does, take it’s twists and turns, but each of those are there for a reason as well, even if they feel very painful in the moment. We don’t always know why the pain is necessary, sometimes we do after the fact, but pain typically propels us in the direction we are meant to go, unless we allow ourselves to get consumed by it and get stuck in it, even so, staying stuck may be what we need to eventually find the courage to get up and get back on track. Each journey is unique to us, and no two are exactly alike, although we may find others who have similar ones we can relate to, and jointly use as our strength and guidance. But what it really comes down to is letting go; letting go of what we think things should look like and when, accepting the place we are and trusting it looks the way it does for a reason, and, it doesn’t always have to look this way. Our life, if we live it with an open mind and an open heart is always subject to change, and just by living our lives to the best of our ability and continuously looking for and asking for direction we may just find ourselves in places we never dreamed of, I can certainly say that has been the case in my life. And I can also say that when I haven’t tried to force things into being, have paused or walked away when the solution isn’t there, the solution does present itself at the right time when I am able to, or are meant to, execute that plan of action. It also falls into the notion of acting ‘as if.’ As I started this journey I was full of fear and doubt, and I was told to act ‘as if’ it had already gotten better, ‘as if’ I already loved myself, already was leading the life I wanted and was working towards, and on challenging days, it helped, it helped to pull me through if I was able to envision where I wanted to go.
When you are not sure how you are going to get to where you want to go, or don’t seem to be coming up with the answers, take a step back, focus on something else or act ‘as if’ until the answers come. Sometimes we are meant to stay where we are, or use our faith that we will find a way instead of muscling through and forcing a conclusion. If we are forcing something into being it is probably not for us, or where we are meant to be, so let it go and continue to live your life knowing the answers will come at the right time. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: When you aren’t able to come up with the answers, do you try to force your way into a solution? What is the result? How has this hurt you in the past? Have you found that letting go will sometimes present a solution even when you are not actively looking for it? Give an example. Have there been moments in your life, not having the answers, or solution, you’ve moved forward with what you know and could and found a solution later? Give an example. Our lives, our story or journey, are meant to unfold in a certain way, when we try to force a solution or conclusion we throw off that timeline and the natural flow of things and we can possibly delay where we should be as we work through the place we got ourselves into, so, trust the process, and trust that if the answer isn’t there, it will be, continue on living your life with the answers you have.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you