Holding On To Pain

I recently started working with a new Chiropractor. I have injuries from a car accident I was a passenger in about a year and a half ago. I have been in treatment for most of that time and am still suffering from lower back and neck pain. In speaking with this new doctor, I described the accident and what happened to my body during impact. She then turned to me and said, “you don’t ever have to tell that story again, in fact, I want you to let it go because it’s preventing you from healing from your injuries.” As someone who is very active and self-aware of my body and how it feels each day, it had never occurred to me that I could be getting in the way of my own healing by still holding on to anger towards the person who was driving the car I was in. This person, still to this day, has not taken responsibly for the accident, in fact, on more than one occasion actually blamed me for causing it from the passenger seat. I realized as she had said what she did that I was indeed holding on to a lot of anger and resentment for this person’s actions that day, and the days that followed, and that I was likely storing all of that negativity right in the center of my injury.

Having practiced yoga, and as someone who actively stretches, I know that we can store negative thoughts and emotions in our bodies. I’ve managed to jar those loose many times in a class or at home through stretch and suddenly that feeling or emotion comes pouring out at me, unleashed by the movement of my body. So I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me that I could be doing that with this injury, and that in doing so, I could be preventing myself from getting better. It’s true that every time I moved or felt discomfort from my injuries I would immediately think negative thoughts toward the situation and the person who caused them, I then would think about all the other things that person had done and never apologized for and nor ever would, I suppose, I stored those thoughts and feelings where he had done the most damage. But it’s time for that to stop. It’s time to let go of what was done so I can heal and move on. I have made other changes in my life to no longer include this person in my day-to-day life, and so now I need to cut the cord on my anger and set myself free.

Anger and resentment are tricky to let go of sometimes, and, they also can be very enticing. I know I can’t afford to hold resentments in my life, that is something I have learned and worked on for over a decade, they steal my peace of mind and serenity, so how have I let this go on for a year and a half, and let it affect my physical health? How did I not see the connection between my anger and resentment and my injuries? As I said, they can be tricky, cunning little suckers, but now the jig is up, their cover has been blown, so it’s time to get to work and release those feelings so I can get on track to recover from the trauma that was done. And, even though I know how to release my anger, I know the tricks, the places to go within myself, there’s a part of me that holds on, and when I do, I feel it physically in my body, so, as of today, I say no more, I am taking my body back, my health back, and my peace of mind back. I will no longer give it to this person who doesn’t deserve to hold that energy in my life, I will focus on the good, and there is a lot of it, I will stay in the light, I will practice extra self-care and love myself, and those who love me in my life, and I will let it go.

How much of the physical ailments and injuries we experience are caused by our unwillingness to let go? What damage are we doing to ourselves by holding on to the past? Today is the day we take our bodies back, we begin to heal what we can by letting go of the past, forgiving ourselves for hanging on, and no longer giving power to those who have done us harm. Fill up those hurt places with love, with care, and hope, and free ourselves from the shackles that we’ve put on ourselves by imprisoning ourselves in the past. Let go SLAYER and set yourself free. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you see how holding onto resentments and anger from your past could manifest itself into physical ailments, or prevent you from recovering from an injury? Is there something in your life that this may apply to? What it is it? Why haven’t you let it go? How does it get in the way of your recovery? What can you do today to let it go, or at least start the process? Imagine yourself having already done it, how does it feel? What does that look like? Stay in that place SLAYER, from that place it is easier to let go and to release yourself from what is holding you back and holding your peace hostage, you hold the key to your own release, turn the key and walk into freedom.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you