We are all responsible for ourselves, we are responsible to not put ourselves in harm’s way, we are responsible to take the next right indicated action, we are responsible to not set ourselves up for failure. Now, there are times we just make the wrong decision, thinking it is the right one, and then there are times when, knowing it’s the wrong decision, and being advised otherwise, we still move forward only to cry foul and play the victim when it fails. When we knowingly go against what is suggested and what we ourselves know to be right, we then don’t get to cry out looking for sympathy when we are the ones who put ourselves there in the first place. As SLAYERS, we take responsibility for our choices and actions, and, we are not victims, we learn from the past and strive to make better choices in the future.
I think we can all identify with this behavior in some way, whether we see it in ourselves or others, I for one see it all over social media daily, people not making choices in their best interest and then calling out for help or sympathy from all of us following along at home. And, I have to admit, I did practice this behavior before stepping on this path. For me it was more about self-sabotage, knowing what I was doing wasn’t the best choice for me, or the best situation, but going ahead with it anyway, knowing it would fail or get me into trouble so I could validate the narrative I wanted to tell which as that I was a bad person, bad things happened to me, and I deserved it. What I was really doing was manipulating the story to suit me, and then calling out in a fit of tears when things back-fired, or, did exactly what I wanted them to do, fail. It was an exhausting negative cycle that I lived in, and when the people in my life weren’t able to help me on the timeline I set out, then I was even more hard done by and cried even louder that no one cared. But, all of that was within my control, and was the result of the actions I had decided to take.
When I started to love myself and believe that I deserved to have good things in my life, making decisions to support that, and surrounded myself with people who loved me for me, I stopped doing that, well, I’d slip every now and again, but it didn’t feel good, it felt dirty and dishonest, because it was, and I realized that the feeling of making the right decisions, even if they were the harder ones and the ones that weren’t as glamorous or shiny to me, they were the ones that made me feel good, that made me proud of myself, that made me stronger.
When we have the information showing us and telling us what action is right and we choose not to take it, we must take responsibility for the results of that, we don’t get to play the victim that we were blindsided and didn’t know, we did know, or at the very least have a hunch what we should be doing, standing up defiantly and say F-you to all the signs pointing to one way and choosing the other doesn’t give us the right cry foul and expect everyone to come running. Make sound choices. Things will come up that are beyond our control, or take an unforeseen turn, those can happen to anyone, but it’s about making sure your intentions were pure at the start and you truly felt you were doing the best thing for yourself, truly, without any doubt, then you can’t fault ourselves for the outcome, but if you knew going in that you could be making a better choice, you don’t get to expect a shower of sympathy when the right choice was clear and you just chose not to take it. And yes, life is about learning, and sometimes it takes us making the wrong decision more than once to learn, and sometimes the wrong decisions come neatly dressed up as the right decisions and can fool us if we’re not paying attention, or choosing to see what we want to see, and there are times we might take a risk, to try something new, or push ourselves in a new direction, yes, but making sure that, with the facts, we truly feel it’s the right direction to go, not just the direction we want to go.
Stand tall, stand proud, stand up for yourself, and the choices you’re making today.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you make decisions that you know aren’t the best for you? Do you expect your friends and family to drop everything and run to help? If they don’t, or don’t do it on your timeline, do you get angry or feel sorry yourself? What do you think will happen if you stop doing that? Why do you think you knowingly make poor decisions? What do you think you can do to make better decisions? Write a list SLAYER, of 5 reasons you deserve good things in your life. Remember those 5 things next time you’re faced with a decision, even though the right decision might not be the easiest, take the one that will produce the most good and see how the good comes to you. SLAY on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you